The debate over America’s most patriotic fruit has ended. The winner: Strawberries.

In honor of the fruit’s newest award, a special ceremony will be held Saturday on the White House lawn. During the pre-lunch ceremony, President George W. Bush will present the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a representative on behalf of the United Strawberry League.

Bush said recognition for strawberries’ unwavering support for America is overdue.

“Ever since I declared my War on Terror, I have been in constant contact with strawberry headquarters,” Bush said Wednesday from his Foosball-Table Room.

“And since we started dropping bombs of freedom on Iraq, strawberry support has made up nearly 83 percent of my 32 percent approval rating,” Bush said.

In a statement Monday, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino revealed why Bush decided to award strawberries.

“The president feels that strawberries are one of his strongest supporters when it comes to national security,” Perino said. “The fact that strawberries keep their seeds on the outside shows they truly have nothing to hide, and the president admires that.”

To receive the award on behalf of all Strawberry-Americans, the USL will dispatch its director of athletic activities, Darryl Strawberry.

“It is an honor to be invited to the White House by Mr. Bush and finally let the rest of the world know that strawberries are simply the most American fruit around,” Strawberry said.

When it was revealed to him that a cash prize was not part of the award, he asked how much we thought he could get for the medal.

Attendees to the ceremony will include Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Russi Taylor, professional Abraham Lincoln impersonator Oswald Porterhouse, Colin Powell and Al Gore.

“From the moment I became aware of Bush’s plan to award another one of his lackeys, I immediately planned to attend and question his repeated efforts to recognize and celebrate his supporters while ignoring the much more dire issues concerning this country and planet,” Gore said.

After realizing strawberries were being honored, he had a change of heart.

“Strawberries are scrumptious and that is prerequisite enough as a qualification to determine patriotism in my book,” said Gore.

This article is a work of fiction.