4.5 / 10

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has definitely achieved a career low in “The Game Plan.”

The film wears out its welcome before it even finds its footing. In it, Johnson is Joe Kingman, a widely renowned quarterback who only cares about three things: his dog, his obsession with Elvis Presley and himself.

Joe’s life takes a detour when he discovers he has a 7-year-old daughter, Peyton (Madison Pettis), from a previous failed marriage. Of course, he has no initial interest in his own daughter. And of course, she engages in stereotypically childish antics that work his last nerve.

This film is as simple as simple can get, with no real substance and nothing new to offer. It also lets us know again, again and again that Joe is the living definition of self-absorbed. He has giant pictures of himself in his home and thinks so inwardly that the very characteristic comes off as not being very believable.

Kyra Sedgwick plays a pointless role as Kingman’s snotty agent Stella, who thinks Peyton will be a distraction to Joe and ruin his career.

We’re supposed to believe that Peyton will be, too; that is, until she and Joe start bonding through a series of events and activities, including ballet.

Nearly everything that occurs throughout this 110-minute bore can be predicted within the first few scenes. The premise is emphasized relentlessly, as if it doesn’t trust the audience to be able to comprehend such a tremendously simple concept.

Roselyn Sanchez and Morris Chestnut do not save the film from its inevitable destiny on the back shelf of a video rental store.

Dwayne Johnson is not a bad actor, by any means. But this is a horrible movie and he doesn’t belong in it. With more telling than showing, this film sloppily trips over every tiresome Disney movie cliché in existence.

There is a scene in which Kingman participates in a ballet performance with Peyton and her class. His teammates show up to make fun of him at first, but are so touched by the performance that they are brought to tears in the end.

If Johnson’s real-life former wrestling co-stars see this film, they won’t be moved. And if they laugh, it will be at and not with him.

Let’s hope Johnson chooses his next project wisely, because the Eddie Murphy formula of acting has proven deadly to all who witness it.

If every promising actor gets at least one freebie before forever falling into the depths of crappy kids movies, this is definitely Johnson’s.