The first female interview of the Weekender’s former child actor series was a failure. I had the chance to interview Larisa Oleynik, but somehow managed to screw the whole thing up.

Larisa Oleynik starred as Alex Mack in the “Secret World of Alex Mack.” In addition, she was on a variety of other shows, such as “3rd Rock From the Sun,” “Boy Meets World,” and “The Adventures of Pete & Pete.” In 1999, she starred as Bianca Stratford in the film “10 Things I Hate About You.”

Regardless, the interview was set up for her to call and for the two of us to chat. Apart from the fact that I was incapable of operating a digital recorder, the interview went really well. Larisa was sweet, very kind, funny and plain nice to talk to – needless to say, the attention-craved being I am developed a small crush on her. As I cannot print the actual interview because of the technical difficulties I described earlier, I am going to retell the tale of my chance chat with Miss Oleynik.

The day started like any other day. I was sitting by the phone at the Weekender desk waiting for Larisa Oleynik to call. Around 12:45 p.m., she called, saying she had just woken up and was drinking coffee. She may have been in her pajamas all wrapped up in a blanket or something; kind of a nice, cozy feel to the interview. Perhaps she was sitting by a fireplace. I guess I’ll never know.

We talked for a while about her college career – she graduated from Sarah Lawrence College with a degree in liberal arts. The way she described the school was interesting. It seems everyone receives a liberal arts degree and doesn’t even have to pick majors. She claimed students also did not have to take math or science classes, which becomes something of a disadvantage later in the interview.

Larisa and I talked a bit about how “frat guys” at bars will recognize her as Alex Mack. She doesn’t mind this so much, but wondered why they think showing they watched a lot of television as kids makes them any cooler. We also talked about the making of “10 Things I Hate About You.” She explained that she, Julia Stiles and Joseph Gordon-Levitt all stayed in the same hotel during the filming and had “too much fun.” I’m not sure exactly what that means and at the time didn’t feel it appropriate to ask.

The interview was going rather smoothly but I had to get to class, which I mentioned to Larisa. She asked what class and we began to talk about studying foreign languages for a while. It seems both of us speak Italian, which, considering it is the fourth-most commonly spoken language in America, is not too surprising. But, as it was the end of the interview, it was time for the lightning round.

I asked Larisa a few questions, most of which she didn’t answer. She claimed not to know anything about the Civil War and was willing to do an interpretive dance for us about the periodic table. Also, she asked me why we need to know state capitals, claiming Sacramento is not a destination spot.

When the interview was wrapping up, she was kind enough to thank me for my time, a gesture I returned. In addition she used my name, which may not seem like a big deal to you, but when cute celebrities you develop a crush on say your name, it feels pretty special. In closing, I would say this was the best interview I had ever done, other than the fact I have no proof I did it.

Views expressed in this humor column do not necessarily reflect the Northern Star or its staff. Send comments to [email protected].