Recently, Weekender held its first, and possibly last, game night in the Northern Star offices. After suckering eight complete strangers into playing board games and promising them pizza and room-temperature pop, we documented their antics and off-color comments.

The night started off with a rousing game of Uno. While simple enough in theory, the card game dragged on for longer than a half hour and at times, it seemed as if there was no end in sight.

The first hand started with laughter and jokes between the new-found friends, but after 10 minutes, the players began to give each other dirty looks and make smart-alec comments toward one another.

“I hate you,” Jason said every time someone skipped him or made him draw cards.

The sound of his voice grew and grew and was enough to make one believe that maybe Jason really did hate his fellow players.

After shuffling the deck five times, there was still no end in sight for the multi-colored game.

“I’ve got a nice straight going over here,” Tim said with a chuckle.

Meanwhile, Jason began to get a bit vocal again, and cursed every time he was forced to pick up a card. This led to 15 curses in a row.

After a wild card is thrown, Tim yells “purple” and the group erupts into laughter.

After laying a wild card, Micki calls “Uno,” one more circulation of the table is made and she wins with a green card.

The game ends 35 minutes later

During a brief pizza break, during which mug shots were taken, the octet began to talk about games they played as children.

Jason and Tim both favored Monopoly while Mychalena and Marlene opted for Chinese Checkers. The others liked games such as Risk, Scattergories and Outburst.

After eating, the eight players were divided into two groups of four and two classic board games were placed in front of them – Candyland and Chutes and Ladders.

Within minutes, the groups begin labeling the playing pieces in modern-day terms.

“Look, the slut,” said Marlene while pointing to a Chutes and Ladder figure. “This one is the hippie and this one is the white virgin.”

Meanwhile, on the Candyland side of things, the players begin to take their aggression out on the inanimate objects.

“I hope your candy castle burns down, King Kandy,” Benjamin said.

As the conversation turned, laughs turned into an abundance of expletives and sexual references.

While flicking the spinner for Chutes and Ladders, no one said the childhood phrase “liner,” a term everyone uses whenever a spinner is used.

In the amount of time it took to play one round of Chutes and Ladders, the Candyland group could have easily cruised around the sweet-filled board five times.

After 25 minutes, Amanda finally won Chutes and Ladders and the board was shoved off the table in a fit of rage. Game night had officially begun.

Within minutes, the Monopoly board was broken out and the group decided to play “Speed Monopoly,” where property is distributed at the beginning of the game and everyone is responsible for keeping track of their own land.

After five minutes of calling dibs on certain items by screaming, “I want to be that. I want to be that,” the game started without any standing problems between players.

Mychalena called the role of the banker while Benjamin organized his money.

Fifteen minutes into the game, Jason tried to wheel and deal with others for property.

“Surely you jest,” Tim replied to the offer.

“Hey, I’m just trying to get some property here,” Jason said.

As the players sat on couches broken down after years of use, they hung off the edge of cushions and sat on the arms like cats. They grabbed for the dice, quickly shook them in their hand and let them fly across the board.

By 8:30 p.m., Marlene was broke and out of the game.

“I’m locking you out of the room and I’m killing your goldfish,” Marlene said to Mychalena.

Jason soon struck a deal with Amanda involving property and money.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Jason said.

“Oh, shut up,” Amanda snapped back.

With her funds down to $16, Amanda asked if sexual favors would be accepted for payment.

Minutes later, Amanda, too, was out of the game.

“I hate Monopoly,” she said.

With only 25 minutes left in the game, all the remaining players decided to team up against Mychalena, the current leader. They conjured up rules such as, if a player lands on a newly formed allied players spot, they did not have to pay any rent.

“It’s funny how desperate people get at the end of Monopoly,” Demetrius said.

The game ended at exactly 9 p.m. with the clear winner of the game being Mychalena.

It’s interesting that when a group of older students get together, it’s still exactly like they are all 11 years old. If you replace the common swear word used by them with “doo-doo-head,” one can barely tell the difference.