Wanting to go to bed, but having to go to the bathroom at 2 a.m. one day, I found that my shower was running. Thinking nothing of it, I go back downstairs to wait. To my surprise, the shower was not only occupied by my roommate but by his lady friend as well. What do you think the best way of handling it was?

It’s a lonely world for a man having to wait for his turn at the urination station, especially if that wait occurs at 2 a.m. The only truly honest way of handling it is playing the waiting game. Wait for the precise moment your roommate and lady friend exit from the waterfall of desire (your shower) and begin to play Jay-Z’s “99 Problems.” Because it’s true, you have 99 problems, one being a urinating one and a bitch (his lady friend) just ain’t one. Proceed to the bathroom to drain your juice box and head to bed.

Last week you featured lyrics by the rap artist Sir-Mix-A-Lot in one of your answers. The lyrics contained some phrases that depicted graphic images of Sir-Mix-A-Lot and a phallic symbol. I feel as though it was inappropriate and want to know what you intend to do about it.

I did not intend to offend anyone with Mr. Lot’s lyrics if that’s what you are asking. To me, no one can solve a problem quite like he can with lyrics. Some rivals such as John Denver or even Tiny Tim’s “Tip Toe Thru’ the Tulips With Me” (such a poetic masterpiece) come to mind. Mix is just a man whose lyrics can solve the most detailed of problems in every complex situation of life. Vanilla Ice thinks that if you’ve got a problem, he’ll solve … ah never mind. It’s true that Mr. Mix-A-Lot just wants the world to know that he does indeed like big butts and he will not tell a lie and if that offends you, you offend him because he doesn’t care a thing about your problems like Rob Van Winkle does.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. Last month, my mom and his dad hooked up and are planning on getting married. Is it wrong to keep dating him?

Ha, ha. You guys are going to be related. That’s so awesome. Nothing says love like brother and sister love. But seriously, no, there is nothing wrong with you dating your soon-to-be stepbrother. At least your mom will be cool with him staying at your house on the weekends.

Struppendous side note: Send me questions, I will answer them!

Views expressed in this weekly humor column do not necessarily reflect the Northern Star or its staff. If you have comments or a question, send them to [email protected]