In a scene midway through “Son of the Mask,” a baby is stuffed into a cannon. Various rockets and bombs are stuffed around him before the cannon is lit, sending the baby hurtling into the air where he explodes into a firework pattern of the American flag.

This scene is animated and involves the family dog. Also, I am told, “Son of the Mask” is a “kids’ movie.”

To people like director Lawrence Guterman, dubbing a film a “kid’s movie” gives the film permission to be imbecilic, boring, stereotypical and flat-out offensive.

Tell me this: How does a child feel when he sees the lead character in a “kids’ movie” tackle his wife, grab her by the neck and slam her over and over again into the living room floor?

What message does this send to children in a “kids’ movie,” especially one about a husband learning how to take over “husbandly duties” (i.e., becoming the breadwinner, handing parenting duties over to the wife, acquiring a job title respected by society, etc.)?

Tim Avery (played by Jamie Kennedy and named after animator Tex Avery) works as a tour guide at an animation studio. Tim’s an animator and desperately wants his own show, but he just doesn’t know how to pitch it. He’s also not very good at animating much of anything – another tiny problem.

Tim’s wife, Tonya, has a respectable job at a corporation. But like every working woman, she desperately wants a baby. She believes tour guide Tim will make a fine father. Yet Tim wants nothing to do with children. Enter important coincidence A.

The family dog finds the infamous green Loki mask floating downstream in a local creek. He brings the mask home to Tim, who eventually wears it to the company Halloween party. But this is a magic mask, and wearing it makes the individual attempt his or her best Jim Carrey impersonation (in actor Jamie Kennedy’s case, worst impersonation). Cartoon Tim leads the crowd in a silly music video, then goes home to knock up his wife.

Note to children: When you knock up your wife as a superhero, you will have a superhero baby.

So the baby is born with unusual powers that only Tim notices. Tonya leaves town, leaving Tim to take care of the superbaby.

Things go really bad – not because Tim is a bad father but because his son hates him and wants to drive him into an insane asylum. In turn, the family dog hates the baby because he’s, well, the family dog.

Oh, right, the God of Mischief really needs his mask back and kills a bunch of people trying to get it. He also knows a baby has been born with his powers, and he wants to find the baby. Which he does, and the superhero car chase follows.

“Son of the Mask” is not a movie for kids. It’s insulting to them, and one of the worst movies anyone will ever see in a movie theater.

It proves that writing for children is one of the most difficult tasks for a screenwriter. While it may seem impossible to most, you can grab and hold a child’s attention through words and story. A film with heart can be more pleasing than seeing a main character drenched in urine.

Children also identify with real, normal characters who don’t make weird faces or shoot anything. If that’s a bit too difficult, fantasy can be smart. Just look at “The Incredibles.”

“Son of the Mask” is not worth any more of my time. It is definitely not worth any of yours.

A colleague asked if I liked the film, and I said no. He asked if I would bring kids to the movie. I don’t have any kids. But if I did?

How about a book?