Husky sweats loss to falcon

By Mark Pietrowski

Editor’s Note: Every week before NIU football games, Sweeps will bring you the real matchups that matter, like which team mascot would win in a street fight.

Bowling Green State University will come to NIU tonight for a game that will be broadcast all over the country on ESPN2, for what is turning out to be a great rivalry on the football field. Sweeps, of course, doesn’t care about that and contacted BGSU so they didn’t forget to bring their mascot, the falcon, for the battle to establish mascot dominance.

According to BGSU’s athletic department Web site, the team was originally referred to as “The Normals” until Ivan Lake, a graduate of the university, suggested a new name was needed – and rightfully so. His suggestion was the falcon, a bird he considered to be a fierce fighter with speed and courage.

Junior psychology major, Tyler Wiggins, wants the huskies to win the football game but can’t justify awarding this mascot victory to the husky.

“I might have to give this fight to the falcon because it can just swoop in and attack the husky,” Wiggins said. “Once the bird goes up in the air, the husky is kind of screwed.”

No expert was reached for this week’s column, mainly because this reporter did a report on falcons in the fifth grade and considers himself knowledgeable enough.

According to encarta.com, a falcon has a sharp, curved beak, and if it were to grab its prey, it could rip it to shreds. The Husky also might not stand a chance against the falcon’s razor sharp talons.

Final Verdict: The husky’s only chance in a direct confrontation over a high flying-falcon is the outside assistance of 2004 para-Olympic Prone Air Rifle gold medal winner Jonas Jacobsson of Sweden. Unfortunately, Sweden, as always, will likely remain neutral in any battle, and the falcon will claw out the eyes of our beloved husky. Hopefully, the result of this particular battle of the mascots won’t translate onto the field.

Editor’s Note: No animals or para-Olympic gold medal winners were harmed in the writing of this column.