-Thank you for your interest in rap’s “Fifteen Weeks Of Fame” club. Below is an application for enrollment. Make sure to include sample lyrics.

Name: Cassidy

Album: “Split Personality”

Required song about bling: “Husslin'” —”I peel off bills and they come back like scabs.”

Required song about countless women: “Lipstick” —”To all my superfly girls around the world/ shake your a— in the clubs/ Now twist and twirl.”

Required hypocritical song about your true love: “Get No Better” —”Me and you/ It don’t get no better/ Our love/ It don’t get no better.”

Required song stating you’re more legitimate than everybody else and destined to rap: “The Interpretation” — “I don’t even need to write for this jaunt/ It’s all so easy” or “Me and my ranking/ Just like Bob Marley to Jamaicans.”

Required song about violence: “Pop That Cannon” — “Behave or get cut with your own blade/ Chrome rays put your guts on your own leg.”

Required radio duet with R&B artist: “Hotel” with R.Kelly.

Required guest appearances: Snoop Dogg, Styles P, Jadakiss and Mashonda.

Required references to old school rap: “Hotel/ Not a motel/ Not a Holiday Inn.”

On behalf of Kanye West, Eamon, G-Unit and other recent inductees, we thank you for your application. Meeting all the above requirements proves you sound like countless other flash-in-the-pan artists we’ve come to appreciate. Your approach is not bad; however, it is unoriginal. For the next four months, your catchy, stick-in-your-head hooks will be vibrating from countless car stereos. Congratulations. Enjoy it: This will end soon.