In the “Super Mario Brothers: Time Attack” video, a Japanese child supposedly beat the Super Mario Brothers 3 video game in 11 minutes, with a type of deadly precision only seen in the most dorky of computer gaming nerds.

The video is a feat. Watching it is like watching a sick Michael Jordan in Game 5 against the Utah Jazz. He’s so amazing that he transcends his own greatness and any greatness before him.

Mario moves in ways considered impossible by anyone who ever tried saving the princess from Bowser. Fireballs no longer are fiery, yellow projectiles, but rather, they are instruments of an angry God, like a flood or raining frogs. Mario’s speed is akin to that of a world-class track athlete stopping for nothing but a gold medal in conquest.

And the jumps — each jump is less a movement from A to B in order to get to C, and more of a movement from A to B in order to get to F, devastating whatever and whoever while collecting 1,000 points and 99 lives before landing.

He bounces in and out of the jumps, landing on Bullet Bills, flying goombas and cannons, often only hitting the ground once or twice per stage.

All in all, the mysterious gamer’s means to success are not all that amazing. It’s mainly grounded in what was purported to be practice and repetition.

For all of the mysterious gamer’s deadly jumping and fireball accuracy, he does what every gamer who ever had seen “The Wizard” does: He steals the two flutes in the first world and warps to the eighth, navigating the darkness and slipping by the gunboats with relative ease.

Bowser’s castle is a joke. He beats it in about 25 seconds, wasting no more than three seconds on Bowser. And by the time he defeats Bowser, the clock is just under 11 minutes. That’s nine minutes under 20, previously the fastest time I ever had heard.

Internet skeptics immediately grabbed their self-righteousness and denounced the video as a sham without any credible evidence, except for a few minor inconsistencies that easily could have been misread in the blink of an eye.

Before long, the Japanese kid came through and proved his critics right. The 11-minute run through Super Mario Brothers 3 looked like a sham.

Instead of wearing the game down to mathematical equations, the kid played the game at one-thirtieth the normal speed, saving the states before it could get messy enough for him to lose a life. Then, if he did lose a life, he’d just load the save state, according to the now infamous kid’s Internet translation.

The purported 11-minute Mario was finished and published on the Internet, marking false triumphs on a record that never existed.

While the record technically may not exist as an official record, the M.O.O.S.E. still recognizes the feat as nothing short of an accomplishment.

If anything else, it’s a clear demonstration of a greater tomorrow, when games like Super Mario Brothers 3 cannot only be beaten, but also absolutely be dominated by anyone with the willpower to work — and/or cheat — really, really well.