Fall is in the air — you know what that means. Make-out season is in full effect.

Walking down Greenbrier Road, I can just smell the saliva. I couldn’t be more honored to be back in DeKalb, and once again be a part of the time-honored tradition of tonsil hockey with a 15-hour break each week for classes.

-I’ve found that making out at parties is disgusting to the rest of the party goers, aside from the people that only manage to scream “WOO!”

Ah, alcohol, where would my love life be without it?

Most partners are all too surprised when they are caught in a relatively open area.

“Our headlights found a young woman lying by the fence. We thought she was just some chick that passed out, but it turns out she was spooning with a young gentleman. The intensity of our high-beams scared the two lovers off,” said junior physics major Mike Himes.

This campus is chock full of small nooks to lock lips. Thanks to the massive amounts of construction around campus, it’s easy to find a hidden, out-of-the-way place that ensures your privacy.

There’s a bench shaded by a heart-shaped tree behind Davis Hall that is said to become more heart-shaped if you sit on the bench kissing your true love. But the legend of the kissing bench is well-known, so most likely it will be in use.

“The best place to make-out, I think, is the sociology computer lab. I’ve never actually made-out there, but with all those big computers, I’m sure it would be quite a turn on,” graduate student Carissa Diesing said.

Also, there is this pipe behind the parking garage by the Psychology Building. It’s big enough to snugly fit two people, so let your imagination run amuck there. Of course I’ve been told that it’s festering with disease and snakes, but who really listens to reason in today’s hectic topsy-turvy world?

When all else fails, the darkened reclusive sectors of the East Lagoon are prime smooching locations.

And then there’s my personal favorite, the little clubhouse in the playground at the church behind the VCB. I’ve made one hot little number quite happy there. Wink, wink.

So, when it’s time to voyage out into the brisk autumn air, remember there are more places around campus to get your swerve on than you can shake your tongue at.