CHARLOTTE, N.C. – Brian Kontak apparently wants to show Annika Sorenstam, Martha Burk and Suzy Whaley who wears the culottes in golf.

Kontak, who once won the Canadian Tour Order of Merit and now has conditional status on the Nationwide Tour, has said he will attempt to qualify for the U.S. Women’s Open, which will be played July 3-6 near Portland, Ore.

There is, of course, one minor problem. Unlike the PGA Tour, which does not specifically prohibit women from playing in its events, the Women’s Open entry blank clearly states the tournament is for females.

It also requires their handicaps be lower than their credit card balances. OK, not really. At least the credit card part. The USGA does, however, require a 4.4 handicap and two X chromosomes.

Kontak said he intends to work around the no boys allowed rule.

That may require hormone therapy and a scalpel, but no one said golf was easy.

It is, however, marginally easier from the front tees, from which Kontak, 31, would apparently play if he gets to test himself against 42-year-old Juli Inkster, mother of two children and seven major championships.

Absurd as Kontak’s notion may be, it is no more absurd than the fact golf has become the most unlikely battleground in the war between the sexes since Tiny Tim showed up with his ukulele on “The Tonight Show.”

There are, no doubt, thousands of stubble-faced, talk-show calling men who believe Kontak’s decision is the perfect slab of sod in the face of all those Helen Reddy-humming types who have made gender equity in golf hotter than the Titleist Pro V1x.

If Annika can play the Colonial, then why in the name of Old Tom Morris can’t Kontak tee it up with the girls at Pumpkin Ridge?

How about because it’s silly.

Spiteful probably applies, too.

Think Kontak would be doing this if Sorenstam, Whaley and Burk hadn’t gotten more headlines than “Joe Millionaire?”

No chance.

As one of Kontak’s friends suggested, this smacks of a publicity stunt. Or like nominating a guy to be homecoming queen in high school.

Kontak is a good enough player that he reached the final stage of PGA Tour qualifying school last year. He’s won five Canadian Tour events and, if he plays well on the Nationwide Tour this year, he gets an automatic spot on the PGA Tour next year.

If he wins the Women’s Open, so what?

And what if he doesn’t win?

Try taking that back out to the Nationwide Tour. “Hey Brian, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is Lorie Kane isn’t playing here this week. The bad news is Beth Bauer’s boyfriend is.”

Golf used to be simple. You liked or you hated it, depending on how you were hitting it that day. Or, like most people, you ignored it.

Now golf is more contentious than “Crossfire.” The only lawsuits related to golf were the ones filed by John Daly’s ex-wives. Those peaceful days are harder to find than a persimmon driver.

It’s OK when golf occasionally gets pushed out of its overstuffed comfort zone. Shoal Creek, which focused everyone on racial exclusion at country clubs, was good for golf. So is Tiger Woods. So is Sorenstam chasing a red plaid jacket with the guys in Fort Worth.

But Brian Kontak wanting to play in the U.S. Women’s Open because he’s a guy is a joke.

Betcha even Martha Burk is laughing.

Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.