2002 was a very bizarre year. Many “news” events fell through the cracks of hard news and into the land of obscurity. Listed here are the “dishonorable mention” awards of 2002. Feel no pity for the recipients:

• The Hapless Award: Michael Jackson’s failed comeback tour ended with him dangling his baby out of a balcony and accusing his record company of … racism? Oh yeah, his nose fell off, too.

• The “When Mouseketeers Go Bad” award: Christina Aguilera shed more clothing, infecting whoever saw the “Dirrty” video with 37 different venereal diseases.

• The “Your stock can sink no lower” award: Todd Bridges clobbered Vanilla Ice (Rob Van Winkle) on Fox’s Celebrity Boxing.

• The “Some people still just don’t get it” award: Eminem’s estranged wife reportedly has settled her differences with Slim Shady, and the two reportedly are on a rebound. Item!

• The “I give them two weeks” award: Ben Affleck and J.Lo got engaged earlier this year.

• The “America is, without a doubt, the land of opportunity” award: The “Jackass” crew raked in more than $64 million.

• What the Shizzle?: Snoop Dogg comes to DeKalb. Dave Matthews Band still is not coming.

• The “Surefire Oscar Sweeper” award: Rob Schneider’s “The Hot Chick.”

•The “Like we didn’t see this one coming” award: Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman) was busted for child pornography.

• The “He believes he can fly, and touch many more things than just the sky” award: Chicago’s own R.Kelly was charged with 21 counts of child pornography.

• The “Some people just don’t get it – Part 2” award: R.Kelly’s young, female supporters were out and about cheering him on following the bust.