I Spy

By Marcus Leshock

Remember the last time Eddie Murphy starred in a live-action film that was funny? Yeah, neither can I.

“I Spy,” Murphy’s latest, is yet another addition to the sad attempts at enjoyable entertainment.

The film stars Murphy as world-famous boxer Kelly Robinson, who also happens to be an ego-maniac. Robinson receives a phone call from President Bush, asking him to help the nation by participating in a top-secret mission. Robinson accepts, of course, since he’s used to being needed for all sorts of important crap.

How refreshing to know that our president confides in an idiot, mindless boxer to control our national security. At least we finally know how important Tom Ridge is.

This is where Robinson teams up with Alex Scott, played by the usually funny Owen Wilson. Alex is a self-conscious spy, desperately trying to prove he is just as competent at carrying out a secret mission as the rest of the super-spies. Together, Kelly and Alex team up to take on the international terrorist bad guys, with hilarious consequences (cough, cough).

“I Spy” brings us quite a bit of memorable dialogue. When a Russian baddie is fooled by Alex, he exclaims, “Stalin’s Butt! He tricked us!” All of these classic moments can be attributed to writers Marianne Wibberley, Cormac Wibberley, David Ronn and Jay Scherick and, judging from the number of writers, it’s reasonable to assume that something must have gone horribly wrong.

Take one of the idiotic scenes for example.

It involves one of those trucks that transport all of the new cars to car dealerships. Our two heroes are being chased by no-good foreign evil-doers while riding on the back of the truck amidst the brand new vehicles.

Hmm, how to get out of this predicament? Then, a stunning revelation. Let’s blow up the cars!

Now, you’d figure that after having car after car fall off of the truck bed and explode, the driver of the truck would at least stop driving, right? Not in this fantasy world. He’s probably focused on dodging all of the pot holes in the road ahead.

Owen Wilson has proven himself as a bright spot for a new generation of young, comedic actors through movies like “The Royal Tenenbaums” and “Rushmore” (he co-wrote and starred in both). “I Spy” is such a step back for Wilson, but hey! Maybe he gets kicks out of making crappy action movies. That would explain “Behind Enemy Lines.”

Is this movie that bad? Sure, but more than that, it’s just so damn disappointing. I remember when seeing Eddie Murphy’s name on top of a film would guarantee me laughing my ass off. This movie made me sad, for now I know those days are gone.

Goodbye Eddie, may you rest in peace.