Shaquille O’Neal: rapper, philosopher, B-movie actor, big Aristotle … mummy squasher?

In 1994, entertainment software company Electronic Arts granted Shaq a Sega Genesis fighting game, Shaq-Fu. It was a mistake – and perhaps the worst concept in video-game history, ranking only behind “Custer’s Revenge,” in which a naked Custer dodges raining arrows to fornicate with a naked Native-American princess.

-Yeah, it’s that bad. Shaq-Fu is not much better.

The meeting that gave the seven-foot basketball player his own horrible fighting game probably went something like this:

Executive 1: “Say, Shaq’s been looking damn good on the court lately. How’d he do last game? Thirty points, 10 rebounds, 0 for 20 at the line?”

Executive 2: “We should give him a game. No, not a basketball game either. That’s far too logical. Shaq needs a side-scrolling fighter where he saves the United States of America from Iraq.”

Executive 1: “We shall call it … ‘Shaq-Attack Whacks Iraq.'”

Executive 2: “Eh … that’s too political. Besides, the American public would never buy into a second war with Iraq.”

Executive 1: “True, true. How about this: ‘With the help of a friendly mummy, a monster and a female warrior, Shaq will save a boy from a hell-bent-on-revenge mummy. Oh, and Shaq will battle with kung-fu moves. Think … Shaq-Fu.'”

Executive 2: “This is definitely the worst concept ever – worse than lawn darts, but it just might work. Count me in.”

Shaq-Fu is just that. It’s a laugh-out-loud concept game – an exercise in poor judgments and over-inflated egos. Specifically, Shaq’s over-inflated ego.

Granted, Shaq-Fu is a bad game. But there have been worse decisions.”

Executive 1: “Man, this Shaq-Fu game turned out to be a real disaster.”

Executive 2: “I’m never speaking to you again.”

Executive 1: “Never fear. I have a new idea.”

Executive 2: “…”

Executive 1: “It’s a movie about a seven-foot genie. It’s called Kazaam!”