Like “zoinks!” This movie is horrible! “Scooby Doo” is a movie for children under the age of eight, or people who have never seen the cartoon, and in turn will not be disappointed when they discover that the movie is nothing like it.

It is unbelievable how much this beloved cartoon is butchered in this pathetic excuse for a movie. Aside from Matthew Lillard, who actually does an excellent job as Shaggy, and the computer animated Scooby Doo, who is pretty close to the cartoon character, the characters here are a far cry from what they used to be.

Let’s compare the new characters to the old ones for a moment. The old Fred is a leader. He’s a smart, take-action kind of guy, as well as a team player. The new Fred is an ego-maniac who thinks he owns the team. He takes credit for every case solved, even though it is the brains of the now hot and sexy Velma who solves all the cases.

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That brings us to Velma, who in the old days was short, pudgy and nerdy. Now she still is nerdy, but thin and good looking, especially when we see her wearing a bathing suit.

Daphne, who used to just be the ditzy blond who always got kidnapped by the villain, is now a whiney baby who learns how to defend herself and tries to solve the mystery on her own.

Shaggy, even more of a stoner now, is pretty dead on — from the walk to the talk.

We shouldn’t blame the actors and actresses for this, though, as they are merely acting out the parts they are given. It is the writers who have turned these once-loved characters into annoying, snobby jackasses.

Instead of taking something similar to what we would see on the television shows, the writers have concocted an unrealistic storyline involving cults, magic and sorcery.

Rowan Atkinson (“Mr. Bean”) plays the owner of Spooky Island Theme Park — a hot spot for, believe it or not, college students. But something strange is going on at the park. All the college students seem to brainwashed. As it turns out, there is a cult stealing the protoplasm (inner soul) of everybody in the park, and it’s up to the now-feuding Mystery Inc. to solve this idiotic mystery.

If you think you have to experience this DVD for yourself anyway, there are some nice extras on it. They consist of some useless deleted scenes, some games, a director’s commentary and actor’s commentary in which Sarah Michelle Gellar and the gang make some witty, but pointless comments about the movie. Steer clear of this one.