Some new ideas that never made it to print

By Sabryna Cornish

This is it and frankly, I’m quite happy.

Most of the Star readers think it’s easy to come up with a column every week. Heck, there’s so much going on at this campus—NOT!

It is terribly hard to come up with an idea every week and write in a way that is not going to offend anyone, which you inevitably end up doing anyway.

The most irritating thing about having a column is the fact that people do not understand the concept that you are not a reporter anymore. You are a columnist and everything contained in it is your opinion. It is not necessarily right and it is almost always one-sided.

It also is human nature to assume you are right. The one great thing one can learn from being a columnist is people who don’t even know you will criticize you from one little column that they didn’t grasp the ideas of anyway.

Also, as sad as it sounds, the world does not revolve around YOU! Most of us tend to forget that and then we write a nasty little letter to the editor because we think the columnist is trying to offend YOU personally.

No matter what idea you come up with, you are bound to offend someone. There are too many groups on campus to be able to write a column that will float everyone’s boat.

If you write about something wonderful the greeks are doing, everyone else gets upset and says they are getting too much coverage. If you don’t write about them or you write something derogatory, you are an anti-greek paper. I have faced facts. You cannot win.

But you can make a difference and that is what most columnists want to do. To form an opinion or sway or change someone’s mind is one of the greatest things a columnist can accomplish. Monetary rewards wouldn’t be bad either, but some of us do not get paid for our columns.

Because this is the last column and I feel it should belong to NIU, I have asked a few choice people what they think my last column should be about. The answers follow and are not ranked by race, creed, color, religion, greekness, whether you like this column, whether you are a neighbor, lover, friend, parent, etc.

‘—Charlie, my cartoonist.

‘—My roommates—a column on why we all should drop out of college and become deadheads so we can ride the Freedommobile to Grateful Dead concerts.

‘—The first person I saw on the street today—this person didn’t say anything because, like me, the poor sucker was on the way to an eight o’clock and just grunted at me. It also was butt-freezin’ cold out.

‘—The last person I saw before I wrote this column—he was not intelligent-looking so I thought, why ask? I guess a gas station attendant is not the person to ask.

‘—Santa Claus—a column on the weird things Dancer and Prancer have been doing and where all the other reindeer come from. They can’t live forever can they?

‘—My parents—oops, I forget to call them. I’ll just paraphrase what they would say. A column on why college students should have no fun and spend every waking hour studying, which of course I always do!

Although all of these ideas are wonderful, I think I’ll write my column about nothing. Oh, I already did.