Mysterious lost time is a warped concept

By Linda Warchal

ever experienced time warping? This is a very serious matter. Think carefully, it is possible you have, but just were not aware you were a person with time-warping abilities.

This is the “Just Barely Official Guide To Time-Warping.” Take heed and learn something which might be of vital importance to your life. This is the skinny.

Think back to a day when things just did not go right. Perhaps items were misplaced, time was mysteriously lost or it was just a bad day. This could be a classic example of time travel.

Welcome to the fourth dimension, the dimension where everyone involved is one step off, so to speak, for the entire time spent in this alternate reality.

It has been learned that certain people are more prone to time warp then others. In fact, these people have energy surging through their bodies which open portholes to these other dimensions. There are numerous dimensions, just in case you were wondering.

Also, it is imperative to know that if you have the knack for time travel, then it is possible you have the power to bring others into the dimension you are in. This can be done over the phone, by mail or in person. The exact moment when the trip began cannot be pinpointed, so do not even speculate.

When discussing time travel and those tell-tale signs mentioned before hand, one must know sometimes strange occurances will not be explained by time-warping alone.

For instance, if you have a bad day, it might just be you passed the “little green man” but did not see him. He is very tricky and usually avoids being spotted. “Little green man” is his official title and all you can know about him is that he does indeed exist.

What will follow is an example of what an evening spent in another dimension would be like. You’re driving down the road and there is a low lying fog on the ground—but it is ONLY in certain patches.

There are usually numerous roadkills on the ground stretching across the road and one most certainly will be a small dog with glowing eyes lying on the shoulder with legs pointing north.

The evening, of course, will not go as planned. Friends in the car with you will be upset, people will cry and someone will most certainly get into a fight. The evening will be cut short because most of the group is having a lousy time.

Upon entering your own subdivision—which should be a welcome sight by now—you spot a house on fire. It’s just a small rickety old house in a corn field, but nevertheless, it is a bit troublesome.

The next day, while the aftertaste of the evening is still in your mouth, you bring a witness to find the little glassy-eyed pup that you saw last night and which now haunts your dreams. Of course, it is gone.

The thing about time-warping is that one never knows when one has returned to normal existence. This can be the slippery part.

A good way to check this is to watch television to see if any human being has done something stupid lately. If so, welcome home.