The flesh is weak

I want to thank publicly those self-appointed guardians of my ethical development for keeping my soul pure by throwing the Oct. 16, 1991 copies (all of them) of DeKalb Nite Weekly into the recycling bin in Reavis Hall before I had the opportunity to read those things inside or look at that shamelessly clothed (but attractive) young lady on the cover.

In my sin and folly, I removed over a dozen copies of the DeKalb Nite Weeklly from the bin no less than three times today, only to find them taken from my sight and returned to the bin within the hour. However, after the third time, I learned something; I’ve changed and I am now a believer. But, though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.

So, please help me again before I read or look at next week’s issue. I know now that I am indeed a helpless person who cannot be counted on to decide such matters for myself. I understand now that democracy is far too precious to squander on such outmoded and questionable values as the right to choose what I read for myself.

Indeed, now I believe with those guardians that it is against our democratic principles to tolerate anyone reading that offensive trash!

So, I beg you, help me. Stop me before I read again!

John V. Knapp

Associate Professor