The latest skinny from the West Coast concerns northern California wanting to secede from the southern half.

Of course, reading this caused some alarm, and also some amusement. Alarm, well, because talk of secession is a relatively serious matter. Amusement because it sounds almost like a joke.

Those crazy Californians. What won’t they think of next? It seems they might not be thinking because this is a very serious matter. Internal strife such as this can only end in bitter feelings.

The rural counties are more than dissatisfied with politicians and face bankruptcy supporting the rest of the state. They either want to join Nevada or become the 51st state of the good ol‘ U.S.A.

Let’s look at this carefully and consider the implications. First of all, won’t southern California be upset? You wouldn’t want to hurt any feelings. And now is a time to stand together, not fall divided.

Secondly, if California became a part of Nevada, there would be too much confusion. Motorists looking for some fun in the sun and surf would end up in Nevada desert and those looking for a little gambling action would end up in Eureka, which they would argue is in California.

Next, concerning the addition of a 51st state: Do we really want to do that? Studies have shown Americans just do not know their geography. Adding another state would be a bad move. If people can only recognize states like Texas or Florida—those with distinct shapes—then putting another one in just won’t do.

And just think of all those grade school children who learned the song about the 13 original colonies—you probably know the one—it mentions the “fifty nifty United States.” The entire song might have to be scrapped because of about 2 million people. The rhythm would be lost.

And let’s not forget about redrawing maps. It would mean map recalls on a large scale and money loss for map-making companies. We’d all have to throw out our personal maps and buy new ones. With the economy in the shape it’s in, this could be devastating to the consumer.

Then there’s the issue of political reapportionment—which is something we don’t even want to get into, especially after having just been tested on it.

Have northern Californians thought about all these things? It seems not. And are the people really willing to give up their title as the “most populous state”? Probably not.

Look at all the things we as a nation are going to have to worry about with California and this secession business. Why didn’t they just propose to become an island? In fact, that’s probably more likely to happen with the earth’s plates moving all the time.

If California’s going to split in two, and all those changes will have to be made, then let’s just divide every state in two. We’ll call it the U.S. square dance or something.

All states have their complaints, especially when there are rural interests versus urban interests involved. Most likely, it is not only California with this problem. Take Chicago and DeKalb, for instance.

So, let’s all secede from each other. We’ll make 100 states. That will mean at least 50 more places to visit.