Much ado at NIU, or, the folly never ends

By Eric Krol

Spray ‘em to all fields:

‘Seriously, don’t the PC thought police have anything better to do? If these people spent half the time lobbying for tangible change that they do arguing over semantics, we’d be much closer to actual equality in this country.

‘Besides, the whole PC “controversy” is a phenomenon created by a bunch of college profs and the media. It’s not like college kids are rising up like kids in “Dead Poets Society” and shouting “CARPE DIEM—we want PC speech!” By and large, NIU students, even if they know what PC is, simply don’t care.

‘And gee, think of all the revisions of textbooks that would be needed. Every semester we’d buy books but couldn’t sell them back—someone would find an offensive word, and another revision would have to be done.

This could be just another way for Richard Boardman over at VCB to try to stiff the students. Boardman was the person who spearheaded the drive to get the credit card plan at the Student Center Bookstore cancelled.

‘This controversy over the Committee on Students with Disabilities is sure interesting, if only for the fact that a new type of minority group was identified—militant disabled people. But seriously, bottom line—don’t people with disabilities better understand the needs of the disabled? Now we’re not talking a majority here, but how about a more equal selection of representatives?

‘NIU football team—oxymoron of the week? No, sorry, don’t mean to sound like the sports department. Their schedule is the fourth toughest in the nation and they’ve got about as many injuries as the United States suffered in the War to Re-elect President Bush, so cut these guys a break.

‘Bob McBob—This strip is an NIU institution that will be sorely missed after December. Geez, now half the campus won’t read the paper anymore.

‘Hey, didn’t the Huskie football schedule say the Louisiana Tech game was on Band Day? Well, there were no high school bands to be spoken of. The event was cancelled at the last minute because no sponsor was found, even though McDonald’s, the longtime sponsor pulled out months ahead of time.

Someone in the athletic department sure botched that one up. Couldn’t we have used some of the $180,000 NIU got from the NCAA hoops tourney. Oh, silly me, it was probably earmarked for “travel purposes”—you know, flying fat-cat alumni contributors to away football games.

‘After getting out of Gilbert Gottfried Saturday night, I passed the NIU Homecoming Dance. Ya know, even though it’s just a second coming of disco, house music represents everything that is wrong with the music world today.

‘Annoying fashion trend of the year—beer vendor shirts. You know, the ones with the actual brand name patches on them.

‘NIU is currently moving the sidewalk to better match traffic patterns over at the rec center. Nice idea, except they’re overlooking two main points. The money is obviously needed elsewhere, like faculty raises, and besides, they’re moving the sidewalk to the wrong place! Students will continue to use the other path because it is a quicker route.

‘Which, of course, leads to the oxymoron of the week, “efficient bureaucracy.”