For everyone who probably has been wondering what happened to Drizzt, Jolyn reported that her ferret Drizzt has been found and is resting comfortably at home.

However, while discussing ways that Drizzt could be found last week, it seems that a few select groups at NIU might have been insulted by some of the comments.

Well, not to worry. This wrong will be righted now. It’s time to talk about something rather personal—hair color.

Out of all the hair colors in the world, blondes are picked on the most. One of my esteemed colleagues actually possesses a four-page list of blonde jokes.

Great, it’s good to know that someone would actually go to the trouble to think of four pages of jokes about blondes. And I can tell you, some of them were not so nice.

What is the endless obsession of people picking on blondes? What did blondes ever do to anyone? Sure, Rod Stewart cuts one record about how blondes have more fun and all of you other people want to ruin it.

The main reason there is blonde persecution is because of the few dumb bimbos who bleach their hair and walk around going “I’m blonde now, don’t you love me?” And of course she would have to throw the giggle in!

No wonder one person recently said, “Two blondes and a brunette are sitting at a bar. What do you call the brunette? The interpreter.” The person who told this joke laughed hysterically. Is this supposed to be funny?

In the tradition of David Letterman and Sean Leary, here is a top ten list of clean, printable blonde jokes:

10) Know how to make a blonde laugh on Monday? Tell her a joke on Friday.

9) What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? Thanks for the refill.

8) Know how to make a blonde’s eyes twinkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.

7) Why do blondes have “TGIF” on their shoes? So they’ll know “Toes go in First”.

6) Why do blondes wear hairnets? Things go over their heads otherwise.

5) What should you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

4) How are blondes like beer bottles? They’re both empty from the neck up.

3) Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

2) Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? So you can park in the handicapped zone.

1) What do you call a blonde with a half brain? Gifted.

Of course there are many other blonde jokes but since this a family paper they won’t be printed. If people really want to know them, they can look around for a copy of the four-page list of blonde jokes.

Blondes really cannot be offended by these jokes because after all, the blondes who these jokes are modeled after deserve every last joke there is.

Hopefully, this column has shown people that everyone gets stereotyped for one reason or another and maybe it should just be ignored. I really wouldn’t know though, since I’m blonde.