Last week’s column dealt with coercive sexual behavior. Research suggests that there is a continuum of what our culture now defines as normal male-interpersonal sexual behavior.

To some males this also appears to include violent aggressive sexual behavior. Many people do not identify with the term rape.

In a 1985 survey of more than 7,000 college students, 75 percent of women who were sexually assaulted did not identify their experience as rape and more than 8 percent of men admitted fulfilling the prevailing definition of rape but did not see themselves as rapists.

The following suggestions are offered for men and women to reduce the risk of coercive sexual behavior:

Men

Communicate your sexual desires and limits clearly. Be aware of social pressures. It’s OK not to “score.”

Being turned down when you ask someone to have sex with you is not necessarily a personal rejection.

Women who say “no” to sex are expressing their desire not to participate in a single act. Your desires may be beyond your control but your actions are within your control.

“No” means “no.” Males must overcome the pervasive fallacy that a woman’s “no” is but a superficial defense against appearing “easy.”

Don’t assume that just because a woman dresses in a sexy manner and flirts that she wants to have sexual intercourse.

Don’t assume that previous permission for sexual contact applies to the current situation.

Avoid excessive use of alcohol and drugs. They interfere with clear thinking and effective communication.

Women

Know your sexual desires and limits. Believe in your right to set those limits. If you’re not sure, think about it, talk to others and be sure before you put yourself in risky position.

Communicate your limits clearly and be assertive. Polite or passive approaches may be misunderstood, ignored or interpreted as permission.

Be direct and firm if someone is pressuring you. If that doesn’t work, insist he leave. Or you leave!

Be aware that your non-verbal actions send a message. If you dress in a sexy manner and flirt, some men may assume you want to have sex.

This does not make your dress or behavior wrong, but it is important to be aware of the possible misunderstanding.

Avoid giving ambiguous messages. Only say “no” when you mean “no.” If you want to only kiss and hug, communicate that clearly and directly.

Trust your intuitions. If you feel you are being pressured into unwanted sex, you probably are. Don’t be embarrassed to make a scene if you feel you are in danger.

Avoid excessive use of alcohol and drugs. They can interfere with clear thinking and effective communication.