What do “that’s the brakes,” “you’re the right kind of girl” and “I love you” have in common?

Absolutely nothing. 

Unless you’re me – in which case they have everything in common. 

My great-grandmother – affectionately titled “Tootsie” by me and my sister – told me all of these things. And they’ve all stuck with me, continuously. 

Tootsie passed in September 2023, and for the last year, I have been working to be everything she wanted me to be. I think I have. 

THAT’S THE BRAKES

 One of my favorite sayings from Tootsie was “that’s the brakes” which means exactly how it sounds – it is what it is, and there is not a single thing you can do about it. 

If you want to go to the local children’s museum and it’s closed, that’s the brakes. If you want to drive a golf cart but it isn’t charged, that’s the brakes. For so many years, I focused on everything going the right way at the right time.

But in college – some things really are just the brakes. 

Most notably, the beginning of the spring 2024 semester showed negative 34 degree temperatures. I still trudged to class. I still learned. I complained, surely, but I worked with the situation at hand. 

Adapting and working through your struggles is key, and her advice has certainly made me check my selfishness and frustration.

YOU’RE THE RIGHT KIND OF GIRL

If Tootsie had a mantra, this would be it. “You’re the right kind of girl” personifies how she felt about me and my younger sister. 

We were the kinds of girls who did not give up. Who stood up for what is right. Who are beautiful, sweet and kind. 

And I always took that sentiment for granted. I thought, because she was my great-grandma, she had to tell me that. 

Turns out – she did not. 

Since she passed, I’ve re-evaluated my experience and my actions.

I realized she was right: I am the right kind of girl. In college I’ve tried to keep my intentions and actions true to me and what I need: whether that’s taking a walk to East Lagoon to clear my mind or standing up to a classmate who treats me as less than.

I LOVE YOU

“Love” is one of the most overused words in our society.. 

We love football, we love each other, we love a class – or don’t love it – but the words “I love you” never seem to truly lose meaning. 

I wish I realized that as a kid, the impact that those three simple words have. I said them, sure, but an 8-year-old never fully understands what she says – especially not when it is that important. 

And so I’ve been more cautious talking about love in the last year. But I make sure to repeat what she said, “I love you.” 

Because I love myself. And I care about myself. And those feelings are undervalued when they should not be; I think Tootsie understood that about me before I did. 

I’m grateful she could see things that I could not.