It’s funny how our lives are guided by two little hands that run in circles and tick.

Case in point: a number of clocks around campus, meeting that great clock maker in the sky, are throwing many people into a panic. Well, mostly faculty, according to the University Police who are receiving about 12 calls a day concerning the failing time pieces.

But students cannot possibly be exempt from the dread of dying clocks. Every student gazes at the classroom clocks at one time or another to decipher how much longer they have to listen to another “fascinating” lecture.

Or even better, watching those exciting videos about Presidents’ First Ladies and their dogs who survived World War I and II to enhance our historical perspectives.

So while the clocks slowly wind to a standstill, students become even more restless and faculty worry about stuffing all their material into their allotted time and a possible student revolt.

To keep violence from breaking out when a professor goes one minute beyond his or her timespan, here are a few helpful hints for telling when the class period is nearing its end.

For classrooms with windows, a sure-fire way to know when the class is done is to gauge time by the glare from a professor’s bald spot.

The problem with this is it only works during daytime hours and there are still a few NIU professors who have some hair left.

Fear not. Students can still gauge when the class is ended for professors with hair or classrooms without windows—interesting hair.

When a professor’s hair looks like it has been sculpted into something Edward Scissorhands wouldn’t touch because of the room’s humidity, then students can start packing up their books.

This method also has an added bonus of working for professors of both sexes. But there are some methods particular to female professor’s as well.

One being how often the professors’ have to pull up their nylons. When she gets so frustrated that the nylons are so torn that they look like earthworms attached to her legs, it’s time to rustle the papers and put away the pens.

A parallel for male professors is drooping socks, but this only works in early classes because later in the day those socks will still be drooping. (Men don’t care enough to pull up their socks.)

And for students with night classes, all they need to do is take a gander at how far a necktie falls during a class period or how often the professor leans on the podium.

Who knows, maybe these time-telling ways will replace the need for clocks in any classroom. Perhaps some genius inventor will find a way to put these methods to work on wristwatches.

Until then, students can amuse themselves and tell time while going through their daily routine of trying to convince professors they are interested in how much money it takes to sell the new and improved Cupie Devil Doll that needs an exorcism every hour.