Hark! What’s that sound in the distance? Could it be? Why yes, it’s NIU officials spending money to cut the budget!

Yep, you heard it right. Some NIU administrators are taking a field trip to Rockford to talk about the terrible budget crisis in Illinois and what NIU is going to do about it.

So their first decision was to cut the budget by taking a road trip. OK, so they need to get away from the hustle and bustle at NIU to think clearly on the subject. Their second decision was to hide how much it’ll cost.

Common sense would suggest going to the traditional and inexpensive NIU retreats at the Woodstock Conference Center or the Lorado Taft campus. But then again, using common sense and NIU administrators in the same sentence is a bit of an oxymoron, unless of course the word “not” is involved.

As a result, the administrators decided cost was no object and chose the Clock Tower Inn in Rockford. For those unaware, this quaint inn has two swimming pools, a hot tub, an arcade, indoor tennis and racquetball courts, gift shops, a theater for plays and a comedy/dance/video club. Hmmmm … sounds sensible, no? No.

It sounds more like a weekend getaway. Oops, wrong again. That would mean the officials were going to their retreat during some weekend. But no, these clever officials are going on a Monday and Tuesday. How special.

Better yet, this Monday and Tuesday are in the week before Spring Break. Hmmm … how interesting. Oh wait a minute, the picture is becoming crystal clear.

The nice, smart, always-looking-out-for-the-university administrators are taking a break before Spring Break so they can free up some time during Spring Break to work on all those other important administrative things.

What a wonderful idea. Administrators need some rest and relaxation, too. And of course schedules from March 9 through March 17 are booked solid with meetings and conferences about such things like how to fool the NIU community again and remove even more trees from the East Lagoon.

Oh sorry, that decision was from some other NIU officials. For some odd reason that old saying, uh, birds of a feather flock at NIU or whatever, comes to mind.

But maybe this is a bit harsh. After all, students go on evening breaks all the time to the local drinking establishments.

Oh, wait, students don’t spend students’ money when they party, ummm, rather, uh, when they discuss important student things.

OK, how about this: the administrators certainly deserve a break with everything they do for the NIU community. Yeah, that’s it.

A dance and a few drinks while taking a dip in one of those pools (perhaps both if so moved) and then sliding into the hot tub will help relax anyone looking at the budget crisis and undoubtedly increase their decision-making abilities.

That’s it, what a great idea! NIU officials should trek to dance clubs in luxurious hotels on a regular basis to calm their nerves and become better administrators.

Of course they still will have to go knocking door to door to get the money from the students first. Problem solved?