What you are about to read is close to the truth. The names have been changed to protect the brainless.

“Hey Johnny! What’s up maaan?”

“Not much, Joey. How are things with you duuude?”

“Totally awesome! I found this great place to party. It’s the most radical place in the universe to hang out.”

“Really? What’s it like?”

“Oh man, it’s like, totally wild. Everyone goes there and we all hang out and talk all night.”

“That sounds like a severely cool place, Joey. What’s it called?”

“It’s the library, Johnny!”

“The library? Isn’t that the place near the Pow Wow where people go to study?”

“Dude, you are totally clueless. No one studies at the library anymore. It’s where everyone who’s cool meets to hang out.”

“Come on man, I know lots of people who go there to study.”

“Yeah, I guess those must be the dudes who give us dirty looks while we’re trying to talk. They’re totally rude.”

“What do you do when they give you dirty looks?”

“Oh we just ignore them and get louder. They usually get mad and leave after a while.”

“What then?”

“Hey, then we get the place to ourselves!”

“Aren’t there, like, guys who walk around and say,‘shh’ to everyone who’s talking?”

“Nah, I never see those guys around.”

“Like, hi you guys. What are you doing here? Aren’t you going to the library?”

“Hi Sandee! Yeah, I’m going and I’m trying to get Johnny to go too. He thought the library was for studying.”

“Oh that’s, like, so totally funny. Well, I’m meeting my friends on, like, the third floor to talk about our boyfriends so, like, stop by, like okay?

“Okay Sandee. We’ll see you a little later.”

“Okay you guys, byeeee.”

Remember when the library used to be a place to study? Remember how you used to go there because you had too many distractions at home (residence hall, apartment, house … )?

Been to the library lately? If not, you’re in for a big surprise. People no longer go there to study. They go there to meet and make nuisances of themselves.

They seem to make a game of annoying anyone who might be foolish enough to study anywhere near them. They think it’s hysterical if anyone says or does anything to tell them to be quiet.

It’s all a big joke to them. In fact, there’s probably one of the twits reading about himself or herself right now and thinking, “Wow, there’s a story in the paper about me, how cool.”

Know what the worst part about it is? There is a place in the library for people to talk and have refreshments. Whether these people know this, only they can say.

What can you do? Go complain to the front desk? They can only do so much. It’s not like they’ve got library bouncers.

Solution? Tell them to shutup or wait until the weather gets better. What happens then, you might ask? They go back to hanging out in the parking lot of Hardee’s.

Be good.