Well, this is it folks. I’m finally leaving for good, to return to DeKalb no more. Graduation is upon me, and I’ve packed my bags to venture out into the horrible void of life known as none other than the “real world.”

I must admit that for some reason, I almost don’t want to go. Maybe it’s fear, or maybe it’s just that it’s really going to be hard for me to leave the people and places that have grown near and dear to my heart over the years.

I’ve never been good at goodbyes, and many people who have passed in and out of my life can attest to that. Memories can’t always replace what is being lost, although often they are the best you can do, and also a lot of fun to look back on. I have quite a few memories to take with me, however.

Like the time my friends and I were at a frat party, and this painted bimbo with some really tall hair rudely pushed her way past us to get to the keg. Well, this girl was a little on the heavy side (OK, a lot on the heavy side).

Anyway, she had packed her butt in this tight mini-skirt, and I stress the words packed and mini. She was so busy trying to show off that she slipped on a beer spill and split that skirt up to her waist in the front and back. There is justice.

Or, the time I fell down the stairs in DuSable and took about twelve people with me down three flights of stairs. Books and papers everywhere. They were ready to kill me, but, thinking quickly, I became visibly upset and yelled that I had just gotten out of a cast, and this would jepordize my chance of recovery. Well, the people felt so bad for me that one guy practically carried me to class, and another girl carried my books. Rotten, but it worked.

So many things have happened that I can hardly summarize everything. It all feels so final, and I guess it is. I want to take this final opportunity to say thanks to everyone.

Another three cheers for Eric Dietz, my number one column cartoonist. The man’s tremendous, tell him so if you see him. And thanks to all of you, who took the time to write me, regardless of whether you hated or loved my material, believe me you entertained me just the same.

On a personal level, there are a lot of you out there that I am going to miss. Some old friends, and others new that I never really got a chance to know as well as I would have liked (clean-up the sick minds, this was sincere).

To those I have offended, I am sorry. Try to remember the good times, not the bad. Some wounds just never heal when it comes to matters of the heart.

One day some years from now, something will possess me to think about NIU and the people and places I encountered. At this time, when a nostalgic wave floods my heart, and my emotions are stirred, I hope that I can look back and say that I touched as many of your lives, as you’ve touched mine, and that maybe, just maybe, some of you will be inclined to think back and remember me.

Times are changing quickly folks, and we’ve got to stick together if we’re going to make it, so just love, accept and try to understand each other, faults and all.

So, Ciao. Have great lives. Keep raising hell, and remember the immortal words of Bill and Ted in an excerpt from their most excellent adventure, “Party on dudes, and be excellent to each other.” Words to live by.