Dan and Jim were in a heated discussion about police officers. Alcohol made the conversation a little more emotional than it normally would have been. They were at the bar long before I got there.

Jim argued that police officers were to be admired because of their dedication to law and order. He was also slurring something about cops always working hard.

Dan felt that cops were lazy jerks. To prove his point, he started to tell a story.

Dan was on his way to pick up a friend in Schererville, Indiana, when a police car pulled him over.

So, Dan pulled over and waited. And waited. Ten minutes later the officer stepped out of the squadcar and sauntered up to Dan’s window.

“License?” he asked, hand outstretched. Dan handed him his license. “Driving 55 in a 35 mile-per-hour zone is pretty extreme, isn’t it?” the smart-aleck cop asked.

“Absolutely,” Dan said.

Surprised at the answer, the officer asked Dan if he had an excuse.

“For who?” Dan asked.

“For yourself,” the cop replied angrily.

“I don’t think I need one, I wasn’t speeding,” Dan said confidently.

The cop ignored him. “Did you know that radar detectors are illegal in Indiana?” he asked, glancing at the fuzz-buster on the dashboard.

“No, I didn’t,” Dan said.

“I suggest you take it down and put it in the trunk.”

So Dan locked his detector in the trunk and followed the Schererville lawman to his sqaud car. Inside, the cop shoved the radar detector at Dan and said, “See. You were going 55.”

“Well, I see that you clocked someone at 55, but it couldn’t have been me,” he said stubbornly.

(“But cops don’t make mistakes,” Dan pointed out in an aside, “and if they do they don’t admit it.”)

“Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do,” the cop said sweetly, as if offering Dan a favor, “I’ll only write you a $50 ticket for speeding.”

Dan through up his hands in frustration. “Alright, what’s the court date on that?” he asked.

The cop stopped writing. “The court date?” he asked. “You want to take this to court? You’re that sure of yourself?”

“Wouldn’t you rather just pay the fine now and avoid all the trouble?” he asked kindly.

Dan knew what the cop was up to. “No,” he said, angry at the disappointed look in the cops eyes.

“Well,” the officer said, “I’ll just let you go this time, but be more careful from now on.” Within two minutes he had driven away.

When he finished his tale, Dan asked Jim what he thought of cops now.

“The same,” Jim said, working hard to get down from his stool to go to the bathroom. “As a matter of fact, I feel sorry for that cop.”

“Sorry?” Dan cried.

“Yeah,” Jim said, starting to lurch toward the restroom, “He worked hard for that fifty bucks and you gypped him. The poor guy.”