OK everybody, I’m gonna take a reality break today. I’m stepping down off my soap box to leave the big issues for my fellow columnists this week. I encountered something this weekend that prompted me to write about it. It may seem a little fluffy compared to my columns in the past, but stick with me. You can’t be serious all the time.

I was at a local bar this weekend to hear the band Funkhouse play (just between you and me, they were fabulous). I sat right smack in the front row so as to get a good view, as well as a seat. No way was I going to stand all night.

Anyway, I had always heard people say that “musicians always get the chicks” but I never really believed it. Boy was I wrong, and I quickly learned the truth. Women were screaming and freaking out all over the place. I kid you not.

What stunned me further was that the guys in the audience were going nuts as well. They were yelling and waving their fists in the air to the beat. Some were even buying drinks for the guys in the band. Others kept reaching up toward the band members and completely flipping out if they touched an instrument.

What is it about musicians that makes them appeal to absolutely everybody? I’m talking about all musicians here from local bands to MTV stars. Singers slide a few golden notes past us and the ladies melt beneath the sound. Guitarists pluck out an electric tune that can chill to the very center (or heat to the very core, take your pick).

Then you’ve got your drummers. Most of the girls I know have a difficult time resisting a sweaty, talented drummer. How about the faces they make while they’re playing too? Of course I think all good musicians make those weird faces. That means they’re realy getting into what they’re doing, right? Either that or they’re just plain weird, you be the judge.

No analysis of a band would be complete without one of my favorite instruments, the saxophone. Those low, mellow notes wrap themselves around you and hey, need more be said?

How do guys like Mick Jagger and the lead singer for Aerosmith get women pulling on their pant legs like they do? You don’t even need to be good looking anymore. You just have to play an instrument well, which is reassuring for society’s ego. Playing well is the key. Nothing’s worse than a bad musician whose a “wannabe.” You know, a person who says “hey, I wanna be a musician” but never quite cuts it.

Men enjoy musicians for other reasons than females do, or maybe not. Whatever floats your boat. Other than the obvious fact that they enjoy the music, guys seem to get into the whole power thing. From what I’ve been told, guys identify with musicians in that the rock stars can stand on stage, do their thing, get all the attention and the women. A vicious circle.

I admit to falling prey to this whole thing myself, yet I still can’t explain why. If any of you have any brainstorms on the subject, drop me a line. Maybe we can come up with one of David Letterman’s famous “top ten reasons why” lists.

It seems to me that a force with such tremendous impact on people should be used for some noble purpose in the world. Music captivates and in some senses I believe can control human emotions. We should use this power to our benefit and not abuse it like some groups do. God, think about the possibilities.