I’ve noticed an annoying trend in newpaper practices. It seems that popularity/opinion polls and questionnaires have become increasingly popular. You’ll pardon my directness, but I find them terribly boring and, for the most part, irrelevant to someone of my demographic.

One recent magazine poll asked me which I prefer to “top off” my casseroles; A. Corn Flakes B. Soda Crackers C. Potato Chips or D. No Topping. You earned a high score on this test if you gave unpopular choices. If you scored lower on the test, you are depriving your family of original meals.

I scribbled in my choices over lunch; a grilled cheese sandwich, a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a glass of 2 percent milk. I didn’t score so well on the test, so the next day I threw some pickle relish on my egg salad.

I participated in another poll published recently in The Northern Star. This poll measured students’ stress levels. I thought this poll was inaccurate in determining actual stress levels because, like most polls, it just didn’t ask the right questions.

In response, I’ve designed my own stress test which, I believe, gives a better indication of stress levels for students.

. Without looking, you can guess the color of your backpack in…

A. One guess.

B. Two guesses.

C. Three guesses.

D. Never really noticed.

2. A car, moped, scooter, or bus honked you out of its path…

A. Once today.

B. Twice today.

C. Three times today.

D. Don’t know, hadn’t really noticed.

3. This morning you made one or more of the following mistakes…

A. Sprayed your underarms with hairspray.

B. Sprayed your hair with deodorant.

C. Reached into your open car window to lock your car door.

D. Squinted your way to class while your sunglasses rested on top of your head.

4. You forgot your phone number at home…

A. The day you moved.

B. First week of classes.

C. Yesterday

D. Still remember some of it.

5. You’ll remember your number at home…

A. When you need money.

B. When you wonder how the dog is doing.

C. When you pass your first test.

D. When you need more money.

6. You started rolling up your jeans…

A. Last semester.

B. When you noticed everyone else was doing it.

C. Hadn’t noticed everyone else was doing it.

D. Can’t, legs are too fat.

7. When you found out how much you were being taken for textbooks…

A. You started swearing like a sailor.

B. You began planning your revenge.

C. You wished you’d saved more money over the summer.

D. All of the above.

8. The carpet in Founders Memorial Library makes you…

A. Kind of sick feeling.

B. Dizzy and confused.

C. Angry and hostile.

D. Laugh long and hard.

If you answered “D” to most of these questions, you are well adjusted and probably won’t be arrested for a long time.

If you answered “A” to most of these questions, go to Happy Hour and quit worrying.

A healthy combination of A_D is really something to brag about. My only concern is that you participated in another one of these *!#& opinion polls.

Barb Ickes