Ah, the Student Association, that impeccable composite of quality individuals, has made a brilliant decision which is sure to benefit all students. They’ve decided to open up their purse strings to purchase a new computer system.

Thatttt’s ssswell! We all know what a pain it can be to get computer time to do our homework.

Oh, but this won’t be for homework. This system will be for senate use to more efficiently handle tedious office chores. Yes, they do have a lot of piddly bureaucratic paperwork and recordkeeping to do. And yes, their present computer system is quite inadequate for their needs.

But, do they need an $8500 system to do these chores? “Sure you do,” said the smooth talking Zenith representative. Man, this Gregg Bliss dude must have really been snowed by some salesman.

Four computers. Yes children, the SA needs four computers. But wait, four new computers with color monitors! We need the color monitors to reduce long-term eye strain, says Bliss.

Yeah, and I need a Porche, an A in econ., Kelly McGillis,…

They need color monitors because some salesman convinced him they need color monitors.

I wonder if that salesman also mentioned the fact that they should only get the best, because after after all, it’s not really your money you’ll be wasting.

Nah, he wouldn’t say that. Bliss was probably so starry-eyed by the sales pitch that the guy could have told him not to bother checking around with other computer companies because their products couldn’t even touch the quality of a Zenith system.

But wait. It looks like the guy did convince Greggy of this. Mr. Bliss, in his computer proposal to the senators, appears well informed of the attributes of the Zenith system.

But where are the quotes from other companies? Oh, here it is. Gregg said he checked into two other companies before deciding that the Zenith system would be best. Well there’s some thorough searching, isn’t there? I don’t see any cost estimates from these other companies in this here report. Did he get any? Probably. Did he get a chance to talk in depth with someone who’s going to earn a large commission from the new computer system? Probably not. Or maybe the other salesmen weren’t as good as the Zenith rep. Or maybe our distinguished SA vice president had already been so taken with the beauty of the Zenith system that he didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to the other chaps.

But not to worry, dear fee-payers. Summer Finance Committee member Nick Valadez and Committee Chairwoman Diana Turowski expressed concern with the lack of comparison shopping. Miss Turowski plans to meet with Bliss to discuss looking into other brands. I hope that he isn’t able to convince her as easily as he appears to have been.

But wait! I forgot to mention one other trivial matter, there were only five actual senate members voting. No big deal. They know what the rest of the senate wants. At least according to SA President Paula Radtke. And I quote “It would be presumptuous to assume that they (the new senate) have the knowledge to make this decision.” Isn’t that sweet. Miss Radtke should write a book on how to win friends and influence people.

Don’t lose hope for the Summer Finance Politburo though. Sen. David Stern offered the one true glimmer of intelligence. “We’re going to look bad. I think we can wait.”

Oh, no Dave. You don’t need any more than 15 or 20 percent of the senate around to make minor decisions such as how to spend $8500 of our money. We don’t mind. Really. This will make next year’s elections so much easier. We can just eliminate 30 or so senate positions and let the people who really do have the “knowledge” to appropriate our funds do so. Right Paula?

Oh pooh! I have to stop now. I think my eyes are suffering from long-term eye strain. These inferior black and white moniters, you know.