NIU is confronted daily with different issues. Some of them require much thought and effort, such as academic programs, security policies in the bookstore and tuition increases. Others need little debate, such as which former bigwig deserves to have a building named in his honor.

No matter what the problem might be, NIU often has what it considers the ultimate ways to solve it: have a meeting, form a committee or both. Quite often this is a reasonable process for informed decisions and understanding minor details, but sometimes …

Meeting chairwoman: Yes, meeting member A.

Meeting member A: As an English professor who comprehends completely that the English language has undergone many changes, I am somewhat liberal. Nevertheless, I am sensitive to comma placement and feel there should be a comma in paragraph one, line three, after the word “bookstore.”

Column writer:I have discussed this issue many times in the Committee on Comma Placement. We have decided to follow the Associated Press Stylebook, which states one should not use a comma before the “and” in a series.

Meeting member A: Perhaps I could request to you, Mrs. meeting chairwoman, that we form an ad-hoc committee and a task force to look into the issue I raised. I also think we should discuss the deletion of the word “that” after words like “said” and “stated” when they introduce a clause, as in the column writer’s previous statement, with this committee.

Meeting Chairwoman:Yes, meeting member B.

Meeting member B: Did you realize, meeting member A, that AP style says to avoid “that” as often as possible, especially when it will not confuse the reader?

Meeting member A: I cannot concur with that statement. However, we could add this item for committee discussion.

Meeting chairwoman: I have some reservations about forming another committee without having further input on the ramifications. But the Committee on Committees has not had much heavy action to deliberate lately, so we could send your concerns to that committee and see if they want to form either of the committees you suggested. Either that or you could appear at the next Committee on Comma Placement meeting and express your concerns.

Meeting member A: That might help a little, but remember, I raised other questions besides commas.

Meeting chairwoman: You’re right. Could we have a motion to send meeting member A’s concerns to the Committee on Committees, with the possible decision to form an ad-hoc committee or a task force?

Meeting member C: So moved.

Meeting member D: I second.

Meeting chairwoman: Is there any discussion?

Meeting member E: This might be unrelated, but I’d like to know the status of publishing teacher evaluations.

Meeting chairwoman: You were right. Perhaps you could attend the next Council on Instruction meeting and discuss your concerns. Or is that the Faculty Assembly? The Faculty Senate Task Force? …

Of course, NIU does not have a Committee on Comma Placement, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it ever did. If one ever attends a meeting of the University Council, the Board of Regents, etc., it’s amazing how words and punctuation in minutes and resolutions receive so much attention.

The other convenient purpose of committees and meetings is to bury controversial issues. The bookstore incident happened about two months ago, and a committee was formed soon thereafter. Apparently, the committee is still working but hasn’t released any news on its progress. Then when the problem dies down even more, the committee probably will give its report privately to NIU President John LaTourette and say nothing to the public.

Take your pick: committees and meetings are A) effective. B) comedic. C) secretive. D) all of the above. I choose D.