What do I believe in?

Cool dude leans back, rubs his chin thoughtfully and ponders the question.

Among his anwers:

ock and roll. Cut to sexy woman soloing on an electric guitar.

is girl. Cut to cheap-looking girlfriend laughing at picnic.

My car. Cut to cool dude cruising around in vintage Lincoln convertible.

My team. Cut to Walter Payton scoring touchdown.

And, of course, beer. Cut to bar scene.

It’s things like this that make me want to hold my head down and weep. Television commercials, like the one described above, never cease to amaze me. They have to be the ultimate slam at more than 90 percent of the imperfect American public.

Since the 1950s TV has become the medium for which most American couch potatoes get their information, get entertained and catch a glimpse of what’s hot and what’s not.

In addition, it sadly has become a way in which many people gauge reality. For instance, how many fashions began as a result of some TV goofball and his/her crazy wardrobe? I can’t really say, but perhaps Don Johnson and all those guys in “Miami Vice” jackets have a better idea.

TV also plays a big part in many people’s very existence. Look at the furor a few years ago over who shot J.R. on “Dallas.” I still don’t know, or care, who did. Look at how many guys are sporting Bruce Willis haircuts, not to mention imitating his boorish attitude.

It’s that mesmerized portion of American society that is facing a shock when these “realities” turn out to be false. Is there anyone in the dorms who can believe the size of the living space allotted their TV counterparts?

It’s comforting to note that some of us have realized how ridiculously TV imitates life. But, on the other hand, there are a lot of people out there who take TV as the gospel truth.

Consequently, when commercials like the one above are shown, they can be a confusing representation, if not a bad motivation for many people.

The commercial in question depicts a young, supposedly attractive man. He has a picture-perfect life. He supposedly represents some kind of ideal. What he is, though, is merely someone’s creation, someone’s depiction. He is but a character and not at all real.

The problem here is not the direct representation but the subtle message being sent. The commercial, and others like it, are, in effect, saying this is what cool people do. They are saying this is how cool people act, dress, feel and live. And, if you want to be cool, you’ll be just like this. The message is so purposeless that it appears to make sense.

By saying it is hip to “believe” in things like rock and roll, beer and a football team, it is saying it is hip to be a shallow, superficial jerk.

Nowhere in this great portrayal of an American stud is anything of substance ever mentioned. All the supposed “values” are based on youth, good looks and a live-for-today mentality. I can’t help wondering what will become of Mr. Joe Stud when his girlfriend is old and gray, his car is a rusted heap and the Bears are back in the cellar after years of lousy draft picks.

It would have been a lot better if Mr. Cool had listed family, friends and/or hard work as something to believe in. Then maybe the superficial type that inspires him wouldn’t appear so pathetic.

As television continues to creep in on just about every aspect of American culture, it should be remembered that it does not represent reality. All too often, TV imagery is mistaken for accurate portrayal.

It would be nice to see a little more substance. There are too many impressionable minds out there, glued to the idiot box, who need a bump in the right direction. They are impressionable, but also naive. Bombarding them with whimsical garbage only serves to make matters worse.