Before we begin with today’s topic, let me just try a little experiment:

aise your hands if you, students, professors, employees, locals, etc., have ever smoked marijuana (pot, cannabis, weed, ganja, herb, grass, dope, etc.).

Whoa! That’s what I thought.

I guess it shouldn’t come as any surprise to you if I tell you to give up any aspirations you might have of doing something wonderful with your life.

It’s too late—you wrecked it! You smoked pot! You’re doomed! Your mother always said you’d never amount to anything and I guess she was right, huh?

In case it hasn’t dawned on you yet, I’m talking about the latest crusade against the use of marijuana by people like Douglas Ginsburg who mistakenly thought his law degree and years as a Harvard law professor meant anything.

This weekend’s papers were splotched with the most ridiculous stories about pot in the U.S. Let’s start with Ginsburg—he’s the guy Reagan nominated to fill Justice Lewis Powell’s Supreme Court position after Bork was, well, rejected, to put it mildly.

Ginsburg last week put the knife to his own throat when he admitted smoking pot in college and as a professor. Right away the outspoken conservatives jumped all over his case and now he has withdrawn.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not surprised—just sort of humorously baffled. Why is it that I can just picture a bunch of Church Lady politicians getting their jollies out of condemning a man who made the mistake of being honest.

Why doesn’t anyone make a big deal out of alcohol? You could go home and get blotto on martinis every night and still be a Supreme Court justice. But smoke pot and burn in hell, I guess.

By the way, Ginsburg also once heard a case in which he had direct interest. Oh, so now he’s a druggy and a shyster too. How dare he—to the firing line with that man!

All I know is whoever finally gets appointed to fill this seat must be God. In which case, look out if you ever have to be judged by him. I fear Armageddon.

Next story in question: Tennessee Sen. Albert Gore Jr., Democratic presidential candidate, refused to say whether or not he ever smoked pot in college. Well, isn’t that special?

e might as well pack it in too. Of course, he did say he hasn’t smoked pot in the past 15 years, but that just doesn’t matter because the implication here is that the butt of a marijuana cigarette has once touched the lips of Mr. Gore and that is simply unacceptable in today’s spotless society.

Speaking of our spotless society, right next to the story on Gore in Saturday’s Milwaukee Sentinel is a story headlined, “27 percent of Americans over age 25 have tried pot, U.S. figures show.”

Just between you and me, I think someone’s lying. Come on! Twenty seven percent! I’m willing to bet there are more pot smokers than that in Illinois. And they’re saying only that many have ever tried pot. Who are they trying to kid?

What is it, everyone got bored with politicians and illustrious sex so they had to come up with something new? Surely they could have done better than pot usage. Some of these guys must beat their dogs or something, right?

Let’s face it—the apparent standards that are being set for today’s top political candidates are ridiculously inhuman. It’s like asking that the surgeon general be in perfect health. Now, I’ve seen that guy and I know it’s not true.

So why do other politicians have to be right up there with the cherubs and seraphims to get anywhere? Pretty soon there aren’t going to be any more candidates for anything because no one can possibly meet the standards. If the worst Ginsburg has done is smoke pot, he should be canonized.

Sen. Paul Simon, D-IL, made a good point when he said: “If we look just at the mistakes people make, and we all make them … I think we do a disservice to the process.”

Can we just lighten up a bit?