Most college students share the common fear of walking into a classroom with their zipper wide open and cole slaw hanging off their upper lip. Others actually have experienced such common nightmares.

The fact is that all of us, no matter how “cool” we try to appear, are capable of making complete fools of ourselves. Some are better at it than others, and have well-earned the title of “major dork.” Others are just better able to hide it under a facade of Mr. or Ms. Smooth. But the fact remains—all of us are capable of looking and feeling completely silly in public.

For instance, it’s pretty common for a female to walk into a class in Cole Hall 10 minutes late, not knowing she left her backpack zipper open. Within seconds, feminine hygiene products, dirty kleenex and other unmentionables go rolling down the slanted aisle while the crowd giggles away. She turns beet red and contemplates transferring to another university.

A case of nasal drip in cold weather, which acts up only while the victim gives speeches in COMS 100, can create a pretty messy sight. Everybody in the class turns their attention away from the speech and begins counting how many seconds it will take before the drippy stuff hits the podium.

Peppermint Patty isn’t the only one who falls asleep in classes. But only a professional fool snores, gets ink on their face and walks out with a big red mark on their cheek from where their head was smashed on the desk. And even that clown who gives standing ovations to people who drop their tray in the cafeteria has thought of something funny in his head and accidently laughed out loud on a quiet bus.

Some situations are common only to those most skilled at making Class-A fools out of themselves. For example, many people often forget to stick a sheet of Bounce in the dryer with their laundry. But this simple act of forgetfulness can turn into a blushing blunder, if the victim unknowingly puts on a pair of pants that have some underwear stuck on the inside of one pant leg. When the static cling wears off, the underwear gradually begins to slide down the pant leg and exposes itself at the ankle. The result—a blushing victim standing in a crowded building with a pair of Fruit of the Looms lurking by his side.

Growling stomachs have a way of striking at the worst of times. It’s just not considered cool for a tummy to go wild during a Geology test. At a time when the class would be able to hear a pin drop, it’s easy to point out who has Tony the Tiger roaring away at the pits of their stomachs.

Not even the hottest chic in town can look cool chasing a Huskie bus down Carroll Avenue. Especially when the bus driver decides to take off just as the huffing, puffing hot mama steps up to the slamming doors. And the classic act of stupidity—slipping on a patch of ice, landing on a sore rear end and watching helplessly as books and papers fly at high speed towards I-5. This only happens, of course, in front of the Holmes Student Center, where all the sarcastic jerks on campus are gathered to scream the word “dork” in your direction.

Who hasn’t had orange around the border of their mouth after eating a Domino’s Pizza and then approached a member of the opposite sex for an unsuccessful pickup? Or said “hi” to someone you thought you knew? Or called a manly looking woman “sir” on accident?

Nobody is immune to embarrassing situations. They happen to the best of us, and even the worst of us. The trick is to be able to laugh them off and say, “Ha, I knew there was gum stuck on my butt. I just put it there to be funny.”

So if you trip down the aisle and fall on the president during graduation ceremony, say you did it on purpose. People will believe you and remember you as the clown who tripped down the aisle and fell on top of the president during the graduation ceremony.

And remember, even the president of the university can be caught walking out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck on his shoe.