It’s finally happened — those endless nights of mindlessly scrolling through Tinder have finally paid off, and one of your matches has asked you to coffee. The two of you hit it off and before you know it, coffee turns into dinner, and dinner turns into dating.

You’re happy, excited to learn more about this new person. Then, you look at the calendar and realize Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

Your stomach drops; what do you do?

If you’ve just started dating someone, Valentine’s Day can be more awkward than romantic. Do you make dinner reservations, exchange funny cards or ignore the day altogether? Here’s some advice from a somewhat expert in romance…and by “expert,” I mean “woman in college who’s single and getting through it.”

Talk About It

As painfully awkward as it may be, you and bae need to discuss how you want to approach the holiday. You may feel uncomfortable bringing it up, but it’s nothing compared to the embarrassment of giving them a gift, only to be greeted with a nervous smile and empty hands.

Don’t keep them or yourself guessing; bring it up casually, and don’t apply pressure. However, don’t confuse casual with unclear, and don’t be afraid to voice your expectations. The talk doesn’t have to be long or strenuous as long as you are upfront and honest.

How Exclusive Are We Talking?

Wow, as I’m writing this, I realize more and more how complicated modern dating is. Exclusivity is very important to discuss with your partner, not just in the spirit of Valentine’s Day but for the overall health of the relationship.

If you both agree you enjoy spending time together but aren’t ready to lock it down with a Facebook-official label, skipping the holiday and taking a more casual approach is the way to go. You don’t want to pressure them into committing too early when they aren’t ready. Planning a date for the weekend after is the best approach, especially when you can both stuff your faces with clearance chocolate and relax.

Just Talking

However, even if you’re only three dates in and yet you both have expressed you’d like to remain monogamous, maybe a modest dinner reservation could suffice. Nothing too formal or expensive but definitely a date that expresses a little more intimacy than your usual midnight milkshake runs.

The “talking” stage is complicated to navigate as is, let alone without cupid’s arrows and stuffed teddy bears thrown into the mix. But, I deserve to be loved with a bouquet of Disney-themed donuts and all the fluffy pillows your part-time, student-worker salary can buy.

Here’s the bottom line: If you’re not into the holiday, there’s no pressure.

Ultimately, Valentine’s Day celebrations boil down to the people. If you’re a person who gets sweaty palms and nervous twitches at the simple sight of a stuffed puppy, that’s okay! Vice versa, if you already have a color-coordinated outfit with a matching heart-shaped purse and pink heels picked out, embrace your inner Zooey Deschanel. You do you, but most importantly, find someone who will admire those quirks.