You may think St. Patrick’s Day is a day where nothing can go wrong. Think again.

Like every holiday or special occasion, there are just some things you shouldn’t do.

1. Don’t eat or drink anything green unless it was handed to you by a professional.

You don’t know where that thing has been; are you crazy? Green is one of my favorite colors, but it doesn’t mix well with edibles.

I’ve seen some green mold in my lifetime (trust me, there’s some at the bottom of my kitchen sink right now). Even if it’s made by a professional, you may want to be cautious because everyone makes mistakes.

Think twice before you consume anything green, lime or chartreuse.

2. Stay away from the leprechaun jokes, especially around the shorties.

Calling someone a leprechaun can be a total buzzkill when you’re at the bar celebrating the Irish’s favorite holiday. The definition of a leprechaun is actually a small, mischievous sprite — according to Google — and no one wants to be called one. Plus, it’s the name of a 1993 horror film.

3. Don’t play jokes on your children that have to do with leprechauns.

When I was younger, my mother and stepfather had a car with a remote start. They would start the car and tell me a little leprechaun started the car every time I said the phrase “pot of gold.” I was scared for a good amount of the time they had that car, and once they sold it they finally told me everything was a joke.

Needless to say, I took care of them and they aren’t with us today … just kidding. But, that scared me to death and I was si angry that I cried for quite some time. St. Patrick’s Day never was the same.

So, don’t tell any leprechaun jokes to your children.

4. Stay away from the St. Patrick’s Day-themed candy once they go on sale after Tuesday.

You’ll thank me later, especially since Easter is coming up and there will be Peeps and little chocolate eggs everywhere. Do yourself a favor and just stick to the corned beef and cabbage.

5. Don’t drink too much on St. Patrick’s Day.

I know it’s St. Patrick’s Day, and there is no better way to celebrate that holiday, is there? But, it is on a Tuesday and you won’t forgive yourself if you wake up the day after feeling like you just got hit in the head with a pot of gold.

Celebrate all you want, but be smart and stay safe.