Upgrade your root beer float with a beer float

By Scott Greenberg

Food and trust are more related than you’d think.

When you go to that hyped-up, Michelin-starred, Ramsay-talked-about restaurant in the city, or, better yet, your friend’s weird aunt’s house, you’re putting the entirety of your faith and the livelihood of your taste buds in the hands of a complete unknown, a chef you’ve only heard about through pictures and word of mouth. Or your friend’s weird aunt.

Point is, we’ve all been burned before. We’ve all spent the night cuddled up next to a half-empty bottle of Pepto, the sounds (and contents) of our collective retching ricocheting off the tile walls, because of a bad plate of chicken a la king or a crab rangoon gone wrong. And we’ve been introduced to a “OK, it’s weird, but trust me, it’s good” dish plenty of times, and had our expectations met only on the weird part.

But just because that happens once in a while doesn’t mean you should give up on weird things entirely. That’s stupid, and you know it. You know you’re gonna miss out on a hell of a lot of awesome things if you do that. So I’m gonna give you another weird combo and you’re gonna try it. And there won’t be any throwing up; promise. Unless you’re lactose intolerant. Or have a friend with a weird aunt.

Here’s what you need:

• A good, stout beer (more on this in a second)

• A big scoop of vanilla ice cream (get the good stuff, not that Breyers “frozen dairy dessert” nonsense)

Here’s how you do it:

You pretty much just put the ice cream in a pint glass and pour the beer over it.

OK, so it’s not really much of a “recipe”, per se. BUT there are a few things you need to know to make it go from awesome to super-awesome, so you’re not off the hook just yet.

1. Get the right kind of beer. You want a heavy, heavy stout, not anything with “light” in the name, and definitely not Guinness. Guinness (at least here in the states) is crap. I suggest Dragon’s Milk stout or Milk Stout Nitro.

2. Pour it right. Once beer meets ice cream they’re gonna have a little party in your glass, and that means foam, FAST. Take your time, pour it slow, and pour it down the side of the glass, don’t just dump it in the middle like an idiot. It’s beer, not drain cleaner.

3. Let the ice cream rest for seven minutes after you take it out of the fridge. If you try and eat it right away, the ice crystals will freeze your taste buds, and that means less flavor. Be patient, people.

4. Listen to this track from The Heavy. It’s called “Love Like That”:

See you next time, people.