Top 5 online time-wasters

Aurora Schnorr

“Have internet, will procrastinate” is my motto.

Paper and project deadlines are stacking up almost as high as the pile of reading I need to catch up on, and yet it seems there is always something more interesting than homework. As college students, most of us become artists of procrastination, and our web browsers are our brushes. So open your laptops and surf my top five time-suck websites.

#5: Passive-AggressiveNotes.com

A compilation of passive-aggressive (and just ridiculous) notes, this website will entertain and frustrate you. Anyone who has ever worked in an office or had obnoxious neighbors or awful roommates will appreciate this one especially.

#4: Foddy.net

GIRP and QWOP are the only games that made it onto the list. With all the addictive power of World of Warcraft but none of the complication, GIRP and QWOP were my sole distractions during last semester’s finals. The player controls the individual muscles of an athlete (a runner in QWOP and a rock climber in GIRP). Most games don’t make you think about every individual muscle and the coordination it takes to move, but these do, and it makes for a totally addictive experience.

#3: Maddox.xmission.com

Not for the faint of heart, Maddox will destroy everything you ever secretly loved. On the self-proclaimed “Best Page in the Universe,” Maddox’s hilarious and foul-mouthed rants will make you LOL, for lack of better words. A few of my favorites are “Unintentionally Sexual Comic Book Covers” and “9 Things I Learned About the World According to Anonymous Stock Photo Models.” Maddox is also the New York Times best-selling author of The Alphabet of Manliness and the newly released I am Better Than Your Kids.

#2: TextsFromLastNight.com

By now, I’m sure almost every internet-savvy student has heard of Texts From Last Night, but that doesn’t make the site any less awesome. Often drunken, disgusting and filled with debauchery, TFLN can keep you busy for hours scrolling through countless texts. I enjoy browsing the site by area code. Our very own 815 has brought gems like these to the site:

(815): Whatever. We’re stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him… You did this to yourself.

(815): she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang “be our guest” to her.

#1: StumbleUpon.com

The quintessential time-sucking website. StumbleUpon, is specifically designed to help you find random stuff to keep you entertained. And it is so easy. You can log in with your Facebook account, click on the topics you like and boom. All of the sudden you’re finding funny new web-comics, new bands, amazing photos, weird games, blogs, videos, anything. It’s awful and awesome at the same time. StumpleUpon is the ultimate boredom cure.