1. Shaquille O’Neal – @THE_REAL_SHAQ

Choice tweet: A Rastaman walks n2 a bank & hands the teller a bag of weed. She says “Sir, what is this 4?” Da Rasta said, “Mi wan open a joint account!”

2. Michael Ian Black – @michaelianblack

Choice tweet: Going to bed now so I can wake up early tomorrow morning and ignore my kids while they watch violent cartoons.

3. Rainn Wilson – @rainnwilson

Choice tweet: Real or imagined… Like when pooping you get all wistfully contemplative about ones life. Is that a brain nerve proximity reaction?

4. Senator John McCain – @SenJohnMcCain

Choice tweet: @GStephanopoulos Thanks a lot george, let’s do it again soon. now i look forward to reading our followers comments and insults.

5. Ryan Seacrest – @RyanSeacrest

Choice tweet: Just made my friday plan. Twilight two disc special edition dvd on sale 12:01am…see u at best buy. – ryan