The Golden Globes need to call it a career.

Seriously, enough already. The Academy Awards is already the end-all be-all in celebrity hooplah/award shows. This goes for other award shows as well, but the Golden Globes just happened to be on when I decided to air my grievances. Bummer for them.

To name a few, there are the SAG awards, People’s Choice Awards, Golden Globe Awards and Academy Awards.

Like, whoa. Do we really need to congratulate celebrities four times for a job well done? I settle for a pat on the back and a paycheck. Is a little bit of modesty too much to ask?

I’m not blaming the celebrities.

I will, however, note that it’s pretty self-indulgent to glam up four times to collect props for the same work, dolling up in fancy schmancy gowns and letting the media and fans fawn over you just because you think you’re neat.

I’m going to pick on the Golden Globes, specifically, just because I can.

An article on washingtonpost.com cited Nielsen Research Media for saying this year’s viewership was the lowest since 1994 when the Golden Globes moved to “network television.”

Last year during the writer’s strike, the awards show was oh so bearable.

With no-fuss name readoffs and conference room seating, the fluff was shed, and the famous people got their shiny statuettes.

There was no need to drag the audience through the caked-up grime just to hand out a couple of 12-inch naked men.

Although viewership was down to 6 million from 20 million in 2007, it was a simple ordeal.

And, although the hosts were terrible, it still didn’t make a difference. The audience knew they’d be off to bed sooner rather than later.

This year, viewership was up to 14.6 million, a larger number than 2008.

Still, the numbers are starting to reflect that people have bigger problems than worrying about their favorite beefcake winning Best Actor.

My point is that less is more. If celebrities really want all that attention, they should log on to their fan pages and message boards.

There, adoring fans who want their time to be sucked up by Tinseltown can do so at their leisure.

For the people who want to sit on their couches and mind-numbingly absorb celebrity crap news, they can do that too.

However, for the miniscule sliver of the population that actually wants true, hardcore facts in their evening news, allow them a venue for that too.

Save the glamour for Perez.