In theory, the most American thing in the world is free stuff.

Freedom and free stuff go hand-in-hand. This similarity begins with the fact that both things have the word “free” in them somehow. Following this logic, it looks like the two most American things in the world are Taco Bell and Dr. Pepper.

Recently, Taco Bell ran a promotion where if someone from either team stole a base during the opening game of the World Series, they would give everyone in America a free taco. Well, thanks to Rays’ shortstop Jason Bartlett, America got one free crunchy beef taco yesterday from the hours of 2-6 p.m.

A big shout-out goes to Bartlett, who took off from first base and secured this country the hold-over it needs until this economy fixes itself.

I personally cannot think of a better “pick-me-up” than one free taco. Thank you, Taco Bell, yet, the best way to enjoy a crunchy morsel of freedom is to wash it down with a tall glass of liberty. In March of this year, Dr. Pepper offered everyone in America a free 20 oz. Dr. Pepper if Guns N’ Roses released its long awaited album “Chinese Democracy” in 2008. Since Nov. 23 looks to be the “official” release date, Dr. Pepper is about to jump on the ol’ Freedom Wagon. To this I say: Bravo! Apparently, all one has to do is give Dr. Pepper some information, and they will mail you a coupon for one free Dr. Pepper.

The Dr. Pepper itself, though most likely warm, will be much more satisfying than anything Axl Rose has done in decades, including the song “One in a Million,” which is somehow offensive to every single person on earth at the same time.

I love this country, mostly because of all this free stuff.