Rating: 1/10

Sad story of the week: I downloaded my pre-ordered copy of New Kids On the Block’s “The Block” on iTunes and my ears bled. And then they bled, and bled and bled.

Their songwriting appeal, like their boyhoods, left in 1994. In short, “The Block” is one guy’s really long and repetitive plea for a swing around the dance floor. In the words of Dane Cook: They just want to dance.

“Click Click Click” starts the album off with about as much spice as a Yanni album. It’s slow, stagnant and an absolutely terrible choice to open the album which is supposed to reintroduce them to today’s music scene.

“Big Girl Now” comes third. This is a shout-out to the band’s glory days. Lyrics such as “Girl you’re all grown up / and now you’re ready to go,” make me uncomfortable. Seems the group has realized all its old fans are now in their twenties and thirties, and thus legally datable material now. Bring on the groupies!

“Grown Man” seems ill-placed. The boys mix an odd-fitting, barbershop quartet-style harmony with the background vocals of The Pussycat Dolls. This song might have actually been kind of cool if done a cappella. If anything, the band is still best at harmonization. Take away the disco sound and listeners might have thought the group had matured musically. Left as is, the overall song composition doesn’t work.

While still a total throwback to ‘90s pop, “Twisted” admittedly had my foot tapping.

This album did nothing out of the ordinary. If bought only for the purpose of supporting a favorite ‘90s pop band, this album will suffice.

For fans or newcomers who hoped Donnie and Co. would reinvent themselves, this album shortchanges them big time.

To the boys, it’s still 1994 and their fans haven’t aged; nor have they.

Clearly a decade wasn’t enough time for them to grow from boys to men and write songs with actual meanings.

Maybe they should have invited Boyz II Men to join their ‘90s revival. That might have at least made some sense.