“The Love Guru”

Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake

Grade: 2/10

Plot:

Guru Pitka (Myers) comes to America to dethrone Deepak Chopra as the best self-help shaman in the country. He’s hired by a beautiful young hockey owner (Alba) to complete his first task of repairing the relationship between the Toronto Maple Leaf’s star player and his wife.

The Good:

If it weren’t for the small supporting comedic roles of Stephen Colbert as a drug-addled sports commentator, or Justin Timberlake as a Celine Dion-obsessed, French-Canadian, “The Love Guru” would have been an even more unoriginal and tired comedic vehicle.

Mike Meyers delivers surprisingly few laughs as the eccentric Love Guru, so actually laughing during this film only occurs for split seconds when Colbert has eaten peyote, and when Timberlake sings and dances in front of his idol, Celine Dion.

If you’re expecting two solid minutes of jokes throughout the course of a 90-minute film, aspirations will barely be met.

The Bad:

By the time you’ve sat through the infinite amount of penis jokes, ironically “funny” names, and material that has been covered in three different “Austin Powers” films, you are only a few minutes into one of the worst films of the year.

In this day and age where Judd Apatow reigns supreme over the comedic universe, and even Adam Sandler still produces hits by tweaking his comedy every now and then, it’s no surprise that the too-brilliant-for-his-own-good, Meyers, picked a project like “The Love Guru,” to be his first live-action film in five years.

The problem is that none of the gags or one-liners in the film are particularly funny. In fact, it’s kind of hard to sit through most of the material covered because everyone has seen it done to death before.

Meyers is a thief. He has blatantly stolen all of his “jokes” from himself. There are set-ups that are identical to old junk found in “Austin Powers.”

Meyers has simply found his niche, and continued to run with it, allowing the general public to feel like it’s the mid-90s all over again. Let me go dust off my Rembrandts album and change into my flannel sweater.

Perhaps the biggest fault is not the cringe-worthiness of Meyers’ rehashed comedy, but the character of Guru Pitka himself. Is there really that much of a demand to see a comedy about a self-help guru whose mantra is “Mariska Harigtary?” Better yet, do people even know who Deepak Chopra is? Do they even care?

An actor like Meyers is only comfortable when playing a zany character. However, the current trend in comedy is not like it was in the 90s. In exchange for the eccentricity of original characters, comedic actors have opted to go the route of the “man-child.” Meyers doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo.

“The Love Guru” may also be Meyers’ most self-indulgent film, as he bases the movie around the Toronto Maple Leafs, his favorite hockey team. Also, he casts the one-dimensional Jessica Alba into the role of his love interest, something that only seems possible in, well, the movies.

The Low-Down:

This potential career-killer for Meyers is undoubtedly one of the worst films of the year, and the worst film of his career, and that’s saying something, considering he made “Cat In The Hat.”