“Penelope”

Rating: 5/10

Starring: Christina Ricci, James McAvoy, Catherine O’Hara, Reese Witherspoon

The Plot: Penelope (Ricci) is cursed by her evil cross-dressing step-butler to have a pig’s nose in place of a human one. That is, until she can find love and marry.

The Good: Though the plot was sketchy and it was hard to sit through an 75 minutes of Christina Ricci with a pig nose and take it seriously, the film had some simply unforgettable moments.

Penelope’s parents (O’Hara and Grant) are extremely supportive of their daughter through the whole film, which is touching and heartfelt until Mom turns to her husband and says, “Why don’t we go to the theater anymore? Oh, it is because we had an ugly daughter.”

In another scene, when Penelope is asked what will happen if she doesn’t get married and the curse isn’t broken, she calmly states, “Well, then, I will just kill myself.”

And when Max (McAvoy) finally sees Penelope void of her terrible pork-like affliction, he makes the same horrified expression as the first time he sees her.

The sheer and utter bluntness of the characters reacting to Penelope’s differences are not the sweet, lesson-teaching actions that are to be expected of this fairy-tale flick.

People always find it entertaining to find the hidden dirt in warm family films like this, and in “Penelope,” the dirt is not hard to find.

The Bad: Christina Ricci has a pig nose.

If that is not enough information to successfully sum up “the bad” in this film, it is OK because, believe it or not, there is more.

Doe-eyed Penelope wanders around searching for love in this all-too-familiar tale of self-acceptance and self-esteem.

She, of course, is able to find it in the overly charming Max, whose character seems unrealistically understanding.

One of the largest jaw-droppers of the film comes when Annie (Witherspoon) steps onstage as Penelope’s vespa-riding, leather-clad, split-end-ridden best friend. Reese, please stick to the clean-cut, good girl we all know and love. It is safe and much more appealing.

The Lowdown: This movie was not only the worst best movie I have seen in a while, but the best horrible movie I have seen in years. Therefore, I found it only fitting to give “Penelope” the extreme middle-of-the-road rating. The cheesy and corny story line and morals are easily disregarded with the blunt and tasteless humor riddled throughout the film.