Rating: 5/10

Starring

Steven Strait, Camilla Belle and a bunch of hippies.

The Plot

Some evildoers ravage a small village, leading to the capture of Evolet (Belle). Of course, an epic tale of revenge follows. Lots of big animals get involved.

The Good

Well, it could have been worse.

The visual effects are nothing short of awesome. Plenty of scenes are so fun to look at that everything else is just background noise. There was, of course, the required epic battle scene, which was admittedly enjoyable. The ending was also a satisfying one, with enough fighting and mammoths to keep anyone happy.

The Bad

When characters from 12,000 years ago cry and mascara falls down their cheek, something is obviously wrong.

The slow-moving story and absolute refusal of realism hurts this story even more than expected. Despite the movie featuring cave men speaking English – with properly conjugated verbs and all – other parts were even more unbelievable.

Though it is obviously a stretch to believe anything in this film, there were even some parts that may have everyone in the crowd scratching their heads.

Sure, it is easy to be critical about a movie that takes place in the distant past, but plenty of movies like this still make an attempt at realism. Sitting in a theater watching “10,000 B.C.” insults the intelligence of anyone who paid their hard-earned money to get in.

The Lowdown

If the movies are just a way to pass the time and look at pretty things on screen, then “10,000 B.C.” does not disappoint. However, those wanting any sort of substance should look elsewhere.