REVIEW

“Seventh Tree” – Goldfrapp

Rating: 2/10

It’s the morning after, and Alison Goldfrapp is nowhere to be found.

Perhaps she’s still sleeping off her hangover, or maybe she never went to bed.

Either way, this album flops in the face of her disco-diva reputation.

“Seventh Tree” opens with “Clowns,” a mixture of breathy vocals and the strumming of a single acoustic guitar. It sounds like she’s gone to bed after a night of riding on white horses and singing “Ooh La La” at the top of her lungs.

Gone are the glittery, glam-rock beats. All that remains is a skeleton of reflective mood music and empty lyrics.

Psychedelic synthesizers in “Little Bird” leave the listener wondering if she forgot to take out Enya before pressing the play button. Others wonder why their new sound has to be so tired and boring.

“A&E” is a sad recollection of a woman’s night out alone, asking, “Do you really wanna know how I was dancing on the floor? / I was trying to phone you when I’m crawling out the door.”

Maybe she’s trying to tell us the album’s dreariness isn’t just in our heads. The tone isn’t a happy one, but hints of disco keep the listener hopeful that the old Goldfrapp may soon emerge.

The album starts off slow and hungover, and the pace never quite picks up. The only upbeat track, “Caravan Girl,” is also completely void of any glitzy disco-pop.

Where’s my shamelessly outrageous Brit chick? Her sassier, sleazier songs, like “Strict Machine” off her sophomore album, “Black Cherry,” make her audience feel like Macaulay Culkin in “Party Monster.”

Sounds like our girl decided that wasn’t such a good thing. Seems she’s found a nice, cozy, extravagance-free rock from under which to sing.

What’s so wrong with change? Nothing. Faithful fans of her breathy vocals will enjoy hearing them in the forefront of all 11 tracks (number 12 is instrumental).

But when change becomes boring, most of her audience will ultimately tune out.

Get the girl some coffee and two Advil.