6:44 p.m. Jen Hance and I are live blogging the Grammys! Read and analyze everything we write for remarkable insight into pop music!

Adds Jen: “Into music in general.”

We’ll see.

7:01 p.m. (Grammys opens up with duet of Alicia Keys and superimposed footage of Frank Sinatra)

Ben: It’s reminicent of that old commercial where Fred Astaire danced with the vacuum cleaner, but tackier!

Jen: Yeah, I think it is really creepy. I mean, her singing with the hologram of Frank? It is like the Grammy version of the movie “Ghost”.

7:06 p.m. (Carrie Underwood performing “Before He Cheats”)

Ben: I have no problem watching this. She has quite a strut in those boots, and I think that is worth noting for the fellas!

Jen: She is pretty hot right now. I personally enjoy the Stomp thing in the background. It makes it more fun to watch.

Ben: It was a good combination of talent and gaudiness.

Jen: Yeah, that whole stage set up really just looked like a bad accident waiting to happen, and yet, they pulled it off.

7:10 p.m. (Alicia Keys just won for her song “No One”)

Jen: What is up with her hair.

Ben: It is like a lady mohawk.

Jen: I don’t care, I think it makes her look like a dinosaur.

7:13 p.m.

Ben: I saw a lot of Feist in the “coming up” promo just before they started this break, and I’m excited about that. I’m getting a lot of flak from Jen and Andy, our editor, who seem to have had about all they can take of the lady, but not me. I saw her video for “I Feel It All” last night, and it rocked my socks directly off. I’ll take as much Feist as I can get, thank you very much.

7:17 p.m. (The Time is Performing “Jungle Love”)

Ben: Can we take some time out and dance to this?! (Dances with fellow Northern Star employees)

Jen: Why is Rhianna ending that glorious song for “Umbrella”?! I like her, but dang, I was having a good time. Oh wait, The Time isn’t done…

Ben: This is like a live Mash Up!

Jen: I do not know how I feel about that dress.

Ben: It’s Hot.

Jen: I don’t know about that, I think it makes her look a bit like an emu.

Ben: Back to Morris Day and the Time, I can dig it. I can dig on it all night long.

7:24 p.m. (The Band is awarded Grammy Life Time Award)

Ben: Nice!

7:26 p.m. (Performance commerating the Beatles)

Ben: Cirque de Soleile usually makes me really uncomfortable. If they start bending around all wierd I am going to have to leave the room.

Jen: Yeah, this is a bit unsettling.

Ben: Who is that?!

Jen: Oh! That is the boy from the movie “Across the Universe”. He has a great voice, and this is from one of those really emotional parts of the movie in the middle of war.

Jen: Ooh, that lady is not doin’ so hot. Her voice is cracking an awful lot.

Ben: Yeah, is she trying to do that?

Jen: Perhaps it is just for an emotional effect.

7:34 p.m. (Award for Best New Artist)

Jen: What?! Cyndi Lauper and Miley Cyrus? Wierd combo… Dang it! Amy Winehouse?! Ugh.

Ben: Yeah, I was hoping Feist would win that one.

Jen: Of course.

7:36p.m. (Jason Bateman on stage, doing a call-in vote for three kids, two with violins and one with a cello. The winner will get to play with the Foo Fighters later.)

Ben: So this is an American Idol Grammys. I was kind of impressed by Bateman’s stage presence, though. He tripped up a little with the teleprompter, but he saved it by joking about it. And he said the cellist was lazy because she was sitting down, which was funny to me (because cellists ARE lazy, it’s a fact).

Jen: Yeah, and he also managed to cover for the “morons” (like Ben), who don’t know the Zeppelin members.

7:46 p.m. (Kanye! Performing “Stronger” with Daft Punk)

Jen: This is really cool

Ben: Yeah, for an electric band, Daft Punk has some amazing stage presence, up there in their giant pyramid. Kanye is really going to town up there.

Jen: Those are the coolest glasses I have ever seen in my life. I gotta get me a pair of those. Do you think he can see out of those things, or is he just walking around blindly on stage??

Ben: He is REALLY excited up there, and I LIKE it!!

7:48 p.m. (Daft Punk appear on stage)

Ben: There they are! I wish I could do the robot.

Jen: I think that our editor needs to do the robot. ASAP.

7:50 p.m. (Kanye West singing a song for his Mom)

Ben: Is this song about his mother?

Jen: I think so. I never knew he could sing like this. Kanye West sings like an angel… (Looking up at the TV dreamily…) Gotta love a man who loves his momma.

Ben: Poor Guy.

Jen: Yeah, that was one of the most touching songs. It was so heart-wrenching.

7:54p.m. (Fergie performs with John Legend and award Best Soundtrack)

Jen: I really like “Across the Universe” but I am pullin’ for the underdog “Once”. That was a great soundtrack, and so original! Darn. Was that Yoko?! How dare she show her face… how dare she.

8:04 p.m. (Beyonce performs with Tina Turner)

Ben: Look at those legs!

Jen: They are going to look like nothing when Tina comes on stage. Wait Tina is considered the queen of African American Females of music? (If that is what they were even talking about)

Ben: She looks pretty good though.

Jen: Yeah, but she is dressed and moving like a robot.

Ben: So this is like the third collaboration of classic artists with modern artists. We had Alicia Keys and Frank Sinatra, Rhianna and the Time, and now Beyonce and Tina Turner, which I think is by far the least successful.

Jen: Yeah I would second that, it is not nearly as good as the others.

Ben: I don’t know that it is such a good idea to put Tina Turner up there in that outfit next to Beyonce. I am not sure that is the sort of juxtaposition you want on stage.

Jen: “Rollin” is a much better song for them. This is pretty good if you ask me.

Ben: I just didn’t think that they were complementing each other very well up there. It was kind of like they were just on stage at the same time. It seems like they are just kind of negating each other. I don’t know, this one just wasn’t as good for me.

8:14 p.m. (Lifetime Achievement Award for best Composer Burt Bacharach)

Ben: NICE! (Ben is a big fan of “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”)

Jen: Yeah, he really deserved that one.

Ben: But they already gave an award like this to The Band earlier; this looks like a good example of the Grammys being more of a performance showcase and less of a credible awards ceremony.

8:15 p.m. (Amy Winehouse wins Best Songwriter for “Rehab”)

Ben: Not a fan. She sets a bad example for the children, and that’s the bottom line.

Jen: I am just glad that she got something out of spending so much time there.

8:20 p.m. (My Grammy Moment Orchestra performance with Foo Fighters)

Jen: So I guess we finally found out what we were voting for.

Ben: I wanted Lazy to win it!

Jen: How do ya feel about the Foo?

Ben: I like.

Jen: I like as well. They are a really fun band. That and my heart went out to Dave Grohl back in the Nirvana days.

Ben: I don’t know if I can hear the chick with the violin.

Jen: How is she supposed to have her Grammy moment if we can’t hear what she is playing, or even IF she is playing? Oh she is just in the orchestra there.

Ben: Yeah, but it is still pretty cool that she is up there.

8:32 p.m. (George Lopez is introducing Brad Paisley)

Ben: I had a roommate who really liked George Lopez’s comedy. He was hispanic.

Jen: Oh my god, he’s singing a song about ticks- they have light up ticks on the side of the stage!

Brad Paisley: “I’d like to check you for ticks…”

Ben: That’s romantic. Happy valentine’s day, Jen.

Jen: What a stereotypical redneck song. Would you really kiss someone who was covered in ticks?

Ben: He doesn’t know about the ticks yet!

Jen: But what if there were?

Ben: That just makes it more romantic! He doesn’t care if she does have ticks; it’s about devotion!

Jen: At least he’s showing he’s being thoughtful. I mean, if I had a guy who’d be willing to check me for ticks, I’d say he’s a keeper.

8:37 p.m. (Akon, Chris Brown, presenting best rap album of the year)

Jen: All my favorite rappers are the Chicago rappers.

Ben: Represent. Kanye just got them to cut the “wrap up your speech music,” which I’ve never seen done before.

Jen: Well, he showed the producers. That was a little cocky for my taste, though, I was kind of put off by his statements.

8:42 p.m. (Ludacris is introducing Aretha Franklin)

Ben: This is intense. She’s gonna save our sould.

Jen: That dress is not sensual, by any means.

Ben: Hater.

Jen: I like the color, though.

Ben: Aretha’s not really shining very much in this performance. Her voice sounds kind of tired, I wonder if she’s starting to lose it to age.

Jen: My soul is not being saved at this point in time.

Ben: These Clark Sisters are picking it up here, though.

8:56 p.m. (Carol King and Dierks Bentley introducing Feist!)

Andy (Flavor Editor): Carol King is still alive

Jen: Why doesn’t she have people multiplying behind her?

Ben: She will!

Jen: This sounds like a cheesy Disney song

Ben: It’s building! It’s building! I like the way she moves her mouth when she sings. That’s it?

Jen: What exactly was that building to?

Ben: Quiet you!

Jen: It was building to an anti climactic ending, That’s what.

9:00 p.m. (Keely Smith and Kid Rock)

Jen: Oh no, Kid Rock. This is a collaboration I want nothing to do with.

Random staff comments: He shouldn’t be alive, he is a worthless human being

Jen: I like the random saxophonist. I wanna know why she was so excited he came on stage, if I were her, I’d be worried. I do think that’s the best he’s ever sounded, though.

9:03 p.m. (Nominees for best rock album, Foo Fighters win)

Ben: Dave Grohl is more dignified than I thought he’d be.

Jen: I like the Foo.

9:11 p.m. (Stevie Wonder singing the praises of motown producer Barry Gordon and introducing Alicia Keys)

Ben: I didn’t know Stevie has won 25 grammys.

Jen: I hate this song. It’s so overplayed.

Ben: I saw a five-year-old girl sing and play this on Carson Daily the other night, and it was really impressive.

Jen: I mean I guess she’s really talented and she has a great voice, but I think her songs all sound similar, know what I mean?

9:16 p.m. (John Mayer is helping!)

Jen: I like this song a lot better now, with the addition of John Mayer. I like this ending. This is the climactic ending that Feist should have had.

Ben: I think Mayer is a fantastic guitarist. I wish he’d put out more blues and less pop, but I guess he’s got to get paid.

9:17 p.m. (Ringo Starr and Dave Stewart introducing nominees for best country album)

Jen: I’m thinking Brad Paisley might win it for the Ticks song.

Ben: I’m pretty out of my league here, I don’t listen to much country.

9:19 p.m. (Vince Gill just burned Kanye: “I just got my award handed to me by a Beatle- had that happen yet, Kanye?”)

Ben: Oh snap!

9:25 p.m. (Joe Mantegna is awarding Izhak Perlman and Max Roach Grammy lifetime awards, and introducing Herbie Hancock and Lang Lang)

Jen: This is going to be really sweet.

Ben: I’m waiting for Herbie to funk the heck out of this.

Jen: It’s a cool visual to see the two grand pianos put together like that on stage. It’s becoming kind of like a “dueling banjos” thing.

Ben: I’m still waiting for funk. I’ve never heard Herbie be so gentile with a melody. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Jen: He’s just being true to the song. You can’t funk up Rhapsody in Blue

Ben: He can and he should!

Jen: He’s showing a broad range… oh, you might be getting some funk now… here he goes

Ben: This is what I’m taking about

Jen: I wouldn’t say it’s funk, but it’s impressive. I like the look on Herbie’s face, it looks like he’s saying “Oh yeah, Lang Lang? Wiat till you see what I’ve got next… bam!” That’s hot.

Ben: This is my favorite use of performers so far in the show: dignified, uber-talented, unbelievable

Jen: yet another climax for the non-“Feist-ey” performers.

9:33 p.m. (Juanes and introducing Nominees for best rap/sung collaboration)

Jen: I don’t care who wins, I’m just glad I got to see Juanes. And I don’t care what Jay-Z says, I like Rhianna’s “bahama-mama” accent.

9:41 p.m. (Cuba Gooding Jr. introducing Amy Winehouse)

Ben: I like her voice. She’s got a heck of a voice.

Jen: I don’t really understand the words that she’s singing, but it sounds pretty good and she looks surprisingly sober. And those background singers are really getting down with their bad selves, and that makes it all the more enjoyable to watch.

Ben: And I like her style. I like the brass band, and the arrangement.

Jen: I definately agree with that. Though I don’t agree with the fact that she’s winning all these awards, but she does have a unique style.

Ben: They’ve switched into “Rehab” now, and she’s being just a little to coy about it. She’s getting a standing ovation from her crowd of English natives.

9:47 p.m. (Natalie Cole and Tony Bennett are giving yet another lifetime achievement grammy to Doris Day)

Jen: I loved her in Pillow Talk

9:40 p.m. (Now they’re introducing the grammy for record of the year, and kind of shamelessly complimenting each other, and Amy Winehouse wins it)

Jen: She looks so surprised

Ben: I wonder if this will help her get her visa back. She’s being very sweet about this, thanking her mom and dad, who are on stage with her in London.

Jen: That is really neat that her parents are there.

9:56 p.m. (Recording Academy president Neil Portnow talking about the 50th Grammys and introducing a slide show of musicians and music industry employees who’ve died in the past year)

Ben: Robert Goulet, you will be missed.

10:04 p.m. (Andrea Bocelli and Josh Groban, performing a tribute to Pavoratti)

Ben: I don’t know this Bocelli guy, but this is a much better duet than Beyonce and Tina Turner were. They’re coordinated and complimentary and precise.

Jen: This song reminds me of the Bertolli commercial.

10: 12 p.m. (Bonnie Raitt introducing Little Richard, John Fogerty and Jerry Lee Lewis)

Ben: Lewis doing pretty good for being eighty something. His voice isn’t what it used to be, but it looks like he’s really taking care of that piano.

Jen: I love how Little Richard hasn’t aged at all since ’74, I’m pretty sure he’s a robot. This performance is cool because it’s all just old people, no contemporary artists. And Lewis is still on stage!

10:24 p.m. (“Professor” will.i.am performing “Mack the Knife”)

Ben: I will not stand for will.i.am massacring “Mack the Knife.” Now he’s doing “Strangers in the Night.”

Jen: This is where they need to have a collaboration with an old person.

Ben: This is where they need to have someone with dignity performing.

10:26 p.m. (Quincy Jones and Usher presenting the grammy for album of the year)

Ben: Kanye looks so contemplative…

(Herbie Hancock wins it!)

Ben: Holy guacamole! Out of left field!

Jen: I bet Kanye’s bitter.

Andy: Kanye must have been influenced by Herbie, he’d better not act out- Herbie’s another Chicago artist.

Jen: I’m glad to see a jazz artist pull out the biggest award of the night, that’s awesome.

10:37 p.m.

Ben: That’s it. Jen and I aren’t sure how much credibility there is in the 110 different award categories, the vast majority of them determined pre-recording, but it was a good show.