Herminia Irizarry

“2001 Maniacs”

What do you get when you mix a blood-thirsty Confederate ghost town out for revenge with a group of Yankee college kids en route to spring break? A really bad excuse for a horror movie. “2001 Maniacs” is director Tim Sullivan’s present-day remake of Herschel Gordon Lewis’ 1964 gore-fest, “2000 Maniacs.” Keeping in tune with the classic slasher-film genre, the plot revolves around eight partying spring breakers who stop in a hospitable Southern town for the night. The residents invite them to a centennial barbecue in remembrance of when the Union troops destroyed their town. What the college kids don’t know is that they’re going to be the ones grilled and served at the party. The best part is that Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) is the town mayor!

Tony Martin

“The Ice Cream Man”

“The Ice Cream Man” is probably the worst scary movie ever, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its moments. The movie was sponsored by Converse. (Try and count how many shots of shoes are in the film. It’s almost as bad as GMC’s self-glorifying “Transformers.”) The bad parts encompass just about everything else. Don’t ignore this movie if you just want to watch something awful for the fun of it. Plus, it never hurts to have Clint Howard in a movie.

Lindsey Kastning

“When a Stranger Calls”

Simon West’s “When a Stranger Calls” is a lame attempt for a horror film. Jill Johnson (Camilla Belle) goes to babysit at a fancy home when the phone keeps ringing. Every time she answers she can only hear someone mysteriously breathing hard. The plot is ridiculously predictable as the stranger/breather finally shows up at the house and Jill releases several unbelievably mundane screams. The film is 87-minutes of repetitiveness and has no right being considered a horror film.

Patrick Battle

“Anaconda”

Why: An occasion where Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, and Jon Voight all share the big screen could have been much less ridiculous by all means. And when Oscar winner Jon Voight is swallowed by a giant snake and then regurgitated a few moments later, it’s more funny than intimidating. “That’s it man. I’m getting the hell back to L.A.,” Ice Cube’s character Danny says at one point. If only he would have said the same at the start of this 89-minute “Snakes on a Boat” (pun intended) and actually done so.

Chris Krapek

“Silent Hill”

I have never hated a movie more than “Silent Hill.” The video-game adaptation is one of the most poorly constructed and laughable “horror” movies ever produced.

There is nothing remotely interesting or redeeming during this train-wreck of a film. The heroine tries to find her daughter in a desolate town, finds out there is an underground fire burning and then battles unamusing creatures who resemble something out of “H.R. Pufnstuf.” It’s a horror/science-fiction movie that relies too much on inane sub-plots and over-dramatic dialogue, while at the same time trying to make a menace out of a villain named Pyramid Head. Scary it is, but for all the wrong reasons.

Andy Mitchell

“Manos: The Hands of Fate”

Known primarily by fans of “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” this movie is so inept, it should come as no surprise that is was written and directed by a fertilizer salesman. The catatonic plot focuses on a young family who makes a wrong turn down a dirt road. They end up spending the night in the home of a creep named Torgo and the satanic cult he serves. It’d be better for people to sell their souls before thinking about renting this without the “MST3K” commentary.