Staff Writer

There’s a lot of confusion these days about what is and what isn’t good hip-hop music. What is apparent is that there are three sides.

There are hip-hop heads — those who appreciate the art in good hip-hop and shun commercial phenomena that discourage progressive thinking. Then there are those who call themselves fans, but have no appreciation for what the genre truly is.

Five Surefire Ways To Know You Are A Hip-Hop Head

No matter where you go, if you’re walking, you usually have headphones on.

You need something to guard your ears from all the vehicles passing by cranking Soulja Boy at ridiculous volumes. If you find yourself cranking Soulja Boy, then I must inform that you are using your headphones incorrectly.

You were a fan of The Black Eyed Peas BEFORE Fergie joined them.

This is the classic example of a great hip-hop act turning into an annoying pop act. Now Will.I.Am is ruined forever. Enough said.

You can admit that, as a lyricist, Biggie was better than Tu Pac.

Biggie was steadily sharpening his lyrical skills while Pac was running the streets of Los Angeles trying to solidify his thug image (it’s difficult to erase the marks of art school and ballet dancing). He was a rapper, and he rapped. That is what makes him the better emcee. Please, go listen to “Juicy.”

You despise dancing.

“Superman,” “Laffy Taffy,” “Lean With It Rock With It” – when most people hear these, they are unfortunately inclined to shake their behind instead of shake their head. I have an idea for a new dance. I shall call it the “be still, grab the microphone, and rock the crowd.” It’s not hard to learn.

You know who Daniel Dumile is.

Daniel Dumile (most notably known as MF DOOM) may be the greatest thing to ever happen to alternative hip-hop. His oddball flow and genius production are unparalleled, as his comic book influence persona is a gem to everyone from rock fans to the Adult Swim crowd.

Five Surefire Ways To Know You Are NOT A True Hip-Hop Head

To appear hip to underground rap, you brag about the few rappers you are familiar with.

This is most annoying. Listening to Kanye West, Mos Def, Common, The Roots or Talib Kweli doesn’t make you a connoisseur of hip-hop. There are so many rappers that can easily surpass the talents of the those artists. Examples to explore: Robust, Stick Figures, Hieroglyphics, Murs, Phi-Life Cypher.

You denounce cartoons and comic books.

Fully unaware of the major influence that the animated world has had on the hip-hop world, you support the notion that cartoons and comic books are for children. You also have no idea who Viktor Vaughn, Tony Starks or Johnny Blaze are, nor are you familiar with the rappers who occupy their names as aliases.

You’re more impressed with a rapper’s grill than his skill.

When you view hip-hop videos, you are more concerned with the materialism than the content. You want to see cars, scantily clad women and money being thrown into the air. That just makes you a sucker for pop. Real hip-hop is less like a circus and more like a million man march.

You seriously think Lil’ Wayne is the best rapper alive.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Lil’ Wayne is not, never has been, and never will be the best rapper alive. No matter what the medium, there are always two kinds of people: Those who are well-known and claim to be superior, and those who are actually superior to them, but not known summoned to power.

The first time you ever heard of Flava Flav was on VH1…and you still don’t know who Chuck D is.

The Flava Flav you are familiar with now is hip-hop’s greatest sellout. He went from being the hype man of a group that delivered politically charged songs like “Fight the Power” to being on reality TV for amusement. This is just blasphemous to hip-hop. Chuck D is the emcee of Public Enemy, by the way.